ORANDON

All Things Come from Within You

2011-12-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

From a Buddhist Meditation

The loneliest times of our lives are between birth and death...

So how is it for you when you are sleeping?

And how is it for you when you're awake?

If you can understand that
while you are sleeping,
you're 'at one' with all things,
and all things come from within you,
and are created by you,
how could you ever see yourself as being alone?

May You Be Blessed with an
Abundance of Health and Happiness in 2012

Keep An Open Heart

2011-12-14T21:01:00.000-08:00

Tis the season when so many are feeling the pain and wounds of lack, in the midst of the rush of human greed. Are we so insensitive? It seems so at times. When I start talking to people about the holiday season, I can hear the themes of jealousy and greed being activated. Is it any wonder resentment and bitterness toward the holidays can be so prevalent? Where does it stop?

This season, I would invite you to open your heart and keep your mouth closed.

Don't bother to tweet, and stay away from facebook.

Keep your heart open to the flow of all blessings; even those blessings that come in disguise.

Jesus Punching Bags, by Warhol & Basquiat

2011-12-14T20:45:00.000-08:00

Peace & Trust Flow

2011-12-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

Peace
is the flow;
Trust
is the flow...

Peace is the flow;
Trust
is the flow...

Peace &
Trust
are the flow...

Make-Up Sex

2011-12-14T20:31:00.001-08:00

Make-Up Sex

I know myself.
I believe and understand
I'm effective
in what I do;
and I'm sorry...

I must have hurt you.

What can I do,
how must I change,
what adjustments can I make
to make things better
for us?

I trust
we're gonna come through
the other side of this...
Even if it means
taking time-outs
so you can feel your feelings
work through your stuff
and I can work on mine.

We don't have to process
every fuckin word or feeling

We both understand
we are co-creating.

Sometimes all it takes
is a smile, a joke, a little laughter,
a touch, a hug.
There's no need here
for us to stand around
insulting one another's intelligence
as if we're doing someone
a favor.

I would much rather give you
some space
so you can get clear;
that doesn't mean
I don't want you here.
If anything
let's trust, no matter what happens
you know I care
I know you care

I will keep attending to you
loving you
however it works best,
and I trust you in doing
the same

Nothing is static
in love.
There are
no absolutes
when it comes to all
the possibilities, potentials,
opportunities we have together,
to continue to create.

Love, like sex,
is alive
and breathing!

Forget about the old rules,
the traditions that would
hold us to something else,
when we have these
precious moments

breathing,
living

Trust is an Energy of Flow

2011-12-14T20:16:00.000-08:00

The Buddhists have a few slogans
regarding trust:
"Don't act-out with a twist,"
and
"Drive all blame into yourself".
Such slogans recognized that
we are the creators of our
persona reality.
But trust,
I tell you, never happens over-night.

Consider...
Look into the source of things,

how one cares for one's self,
loves one's self.
You'll get some knowledge
of what's going on with trust in that.
Loving remains only an ideal
otherwise.

So many ask how it can be,
a stranger is a kinder personality
than family
and even a sometimes friend.
We're often on our best behaviors
for strangers.
We always get to trust
when things start fresh.

With family and friends
there is always a past.
There are no absolutes
no means to an end
when it comes to the flow
of trust.

It's never about a person, a personality;
it's about what a person does.
It's never about the world, or the painful politics
of arguing with reality, or
"what is".
The Universe provides an abundance...
Which is why trusting and loving
can feel so radical
and so radically opposed
to anything
one has ever known.

Trust is an energy of flow,
not force.

Why relegate someone
into confinement,
a box?
It is morally wrong.
But in a society in denial
we are all fairly good at
doing that to ourselves!
And losing faith in the process,
the journey of reality,
"what is".

There may be a possibility to look at what
is being done.
Keep your finger on the pulse
of loving yourself or someone.
Change it.

You "like" or "dislike" someone:
have you ever met anyone who is perfect?
Are you perfect, spotless,
without skeletons?

Like or dislike is that tenuous state,
quantifying, qualifying -
spinning
like dime.
Manic depression
or
total outright aggression.

Focus on the boundaries and limitations
of what's working or not working.

Focus on adjustments
or needed requirements
for change...
But don't deify.
See reality for what it is,
and do your best
not to turn a soul into a,
a devil
or victim or
a whore.

Pity Sex: Don't You Feel Sorry for "Me"?

2011-12-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

pity sex:
don't you feel sorry for "me"?
sure, my pants
are rotting off my ass,
the teeth are fallin
outta my head...
I got a disease
I got an addiction
but I'm still cute,
ya think?

Don't have much to say,
not really accountable
for all my pain;
didn't I mention?
didn't I tell ya
whose fault it all
was?
You think I'm livin
in the past?
But somehow
I know
you got somethin good
to give.

see how my face lights up
when you believe?

la la la la
da da da
sure I'm a star
but my light burned out

and my needs...?
they ain't gettin met
didn't I tell ya?
I don't like to talk much about it
I'd rather
sink down under it
and under you

with this pill or booze
whatever you wanna do

let me get down
under ya

please?
I'm needy,

and into your skin

I'm sure you're a goddess
I'm sure it will be good
to feel the love you have to give
since I can't give it
to myself

let's get down
and under
and into each other's

skin

you show me
what this thing is
you call love
but whatever you do

don't think this will last

nothing ever lasts;
that's the world we live in
and I'm livin proof
I'm so afraid
running towards my death..
C'mon, take my hand,
we'll stop runnin and rest;
coz you know and I know
it's all shit
(and that's
my private secret).

Like Attracts Like

2011-12-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

"Opposites attract", IMO, is a crock.
Such an idea will only add gravity
to what will become dysfunctional later.

Like attracts Like.
The ancient adage comes from the Egyptian tombs:
"As Above, So Below".
It's speaking of the Law of Attraction.

The challenge is for two people
to find mutual appreciation
and respect for the differences they do have.

With that would come
the needed understanding
and reverence
that sanctifies

what brought them together in the first place.

Fear

2011-12-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

Fear signals our personal boundaries or limits.

Whenever you feel fear about another person,
that's a good signal for you;
look into yourself and figure out what's limiting you
in such a way to create fear.

Fear is the powerful emotion
that puts forth a call to
establish a personal boundary
or move on, or run.

Of course, we all know this
in the collective unconsciousness.
We feel it.

We test one another's boundaries
all the time -
how else can we grow?

But it's not OK
to allow fear to run your life.
It's better to work with the texture
of that fear.
Aim yourself
in the direction of
being fierce
and fearless.

Transmute the sources
of collective, unconscious
energy...

It will take some courage
on your part.

It's really about being
in possession
of your self.

The City

2011-11-28T16:32:00.001-08:00

I love living in the city! It's such a mix of diversity. In the city, it doesn't matter what time of year it is... There's always somewhere to go, someone to spend time with, something to do.

People in my neighborhood are actually very flexible. So it doesn't matter if you believe in the same things they do or not. Because there's so much diversity, people just try to respect one another.

The most disturbing thing about living in the city is the homelessness. It does not seem acceptable or morally right in an age when people are supposedly becoming so educated and enlightened.

It's important to help someone when you can... Even if it is with a little food, or full meal. Many homeless people do not have clean clothes; some don't have shoes.

In a perfect world, they could at least have some clean clothes with a trip to the neighborhood thrift-store. (Yes, many of us are strapped in this economy... But even a pair of shoes from the thrift-store could make a world of difference to someone who has to live in the streets.)

Spirit of Jimi

2011-11-28T16:14:00.000-08:00

So many have written of the magic and spiritual "experience" they feel when listening to the music of Jimi Hendrix. And it goes, without exception... We had a fun afternoon yesterday! Ron set up his electric guitar and mike near the OCCUPY protesters. (They are camping just across the street near the Jimi Hendrix statue.)

It always feels like quite a "scene" when Ron performs (smile)! He's immediately surrounded by crowds of people with their digital cameras. He performs Jimi's well-known songs. In spite of the clouds, the cold, the rain, we all spontaneously gathered around on the street for the music. It's a diverse neighborhood of people of all ages and colors. Etc. We might not camp with the OCCUPY groups, but we support them in spirit.

We met a guy who just drove in from Jimi's grave site. He came into town to take photos of the statue. He told us Bruce Lee's birthday is on the same day, as well!

Bless Your Soul, Jimi; Happy Birthday.

Ka-Blah-Blah Boyfriend

2011-11-27T00:35:00.000-08:00

Ka-Blah-Blah Boyfriend

REALLY?

Life is always a little sad when the dreams of one's favorite celebs go crashing through the floor and into a kind of hell. I mean, come on Madonna and Demi!! Did you really??? Somebody got into their ka-blah-blah a little too much. And that's a drag when you've got people like reverends coaching you to believe someone is your soul-mate. Stop that shit!

Yeah. If you wanna believe or truly feel someone is your soul-mate? I would urge you, keep to yourself. Don't even confide to him or her! Hold on to what you believe. Cherish it, and celebrate it as a private secret. WHY? Because people overcompensate for things. We also have a very human need to prove to ourselves what's real or not real. We test the hell out of everything.

Don't give your "soul-mate" that opportunity. Put your ego on the back-burner.

Keep what you believe a private secret. And if things don't work out? You might have a good reason to laugh. If you feel it's real, regardless? Get in there and fight for it.

There Are Many Kinds of Love

2011-11-27T00:10:00.000-08:00

We human beings love to love, but perhaps we should keep our egos out of it. (Ladies, I know that's a challenge! Don't let society push you into addictive spending/enabling to keep your love alive... Just love yourself, and be loving.) I'm talking about moving out of a kind of neediness and into grace.

I think I spent most my life feeling sorry for others, taking pity on them and calling it love. All it does is create a one-way energy!

Some people call it "pity-sex". I say, don't do it. Consider the source and it's lack. Look with stern compassion into the person's face. See if you can discover the reason WHY love seems to be just "missing" its mark when it comes you. Do you feel you are accepted and loved in return?

When I think of all the faces I've seen and all the people I know, wow! Love is situation-specific. And if you love someone? It will be unique, and incomparable to any other. You see? For each person, there's going to be a different kind of love. No two loves are the same.

Therefore, just make it your aim to feel good... And be "loving" about it. Love your life. That's a great start.

Race, The Power of an Illusion

2011-11-26T23:36:00.000-08:00

Race, The Power of an Illusion
A Three-Part Documentary by California Newsreel
c) 2003
www.newsreel.org

"Racism... Is about how people assign meaning to how another looks."

- Robin D.G. Kelley

It's true, there are no genetic differences or sub-species in human beings based on color or race. In fact, the African culture contains the most diverse genetic encodings of all cultures. Most of what we in America think we know or feel about racism is based on old societal programs, governmental politics, and economics.

"Race is the great interest of the age." - from an American newspaper in the 1840's

This is an interesting but somewhat biased documentary. It's useful, however. I recommend it for students interested in evolution. I felt there was a missing issue here, barely touched on... The problem of criminal activity and language barriers with privileged whites assisting immigrants and people of color. This documentary outlines the absurd books and propaganda on racial profiling which were created in the 1800's.

President Andrew Jackson was responsible for propagating bigotry through his writings. These were later produced as the values-set for American politics. In spite of asserting "all men were created equal", Jackson wrote extensively about Native and African Americans as being inferior.

In the 1800's, charts and scales were created to show various grades of skin color used to classify people. Although Asians met these criteria (in comparison to Caucasians) they were denied American Citizenship with little or no real explanation.

Segregation, IMO, was imposed as a way to track criminal activity and force like-minded ethnic cultures to police themselves. Let's face it, in the 18oo's and early 1900's, there were no cell phones, digital cameras and recorders to track people or their crimes.

Why do we ("whites") have a legacy of generational wealth compared to "people of color"? (This is what I feel is rapidly becoming an illusion...) Some think American wealth is a "benefit" of conforming to American (white dominator culture) values.

The power dynamics are shifting radically. More crimes will be caught by American citizens, exposing the denial and false activities of all... Including those with "white" skin.

Coz We Be Good Soldiers

2011-11-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

Coz We Be Good Soldiers

While you've been busy
regimenting and up-grading
your priorities,
I've been organizing
and ritualizing mine:
coz we be good soldiers
in hot or cold weather.

I've been linin' my drawers,
ritually-foldin' my socks
Sweepin' and cleanin' the rocks,
coz I be a good soldier.

You've been practicing your riffs
and driving your wiff
and walking the dog,
regimenting your log
coz
you be a good soldier
in hot or cold weather.

We got it down to a T
scaling A, B & C
coz we got it set up
ritually.
No time to think
no time to ponder
no option for "mental"
when it's set up
regimental -

it's all about freedom, right?

Coz we be good soldiers
in hot or cold weather.

It's not about choice -
we just get things well-done.
Gotta get it set up -
so others can have fun.

Have you cleaned-up the kitchen?
Did you thaw out the chicken?
Did you walk the dog?
Did you unplug the clog?
Have you scrubbed out the toilet
and vacuumed the rug?

Did you clean out the mail,
hit the holiday sales?
Did you call both the kids,
and bleach-out your skids?
Did you talk to your shrink?
Have you abstained from drink?
Did you check-in with group?
Did you toss out the soup?

I forget how good you are -
you be such a good soldier!

Did you take all your meds?
Did they dumb-down your head?

Well, I fibbed a bit here...
I'm not really all that.

Sure, I cleaned out the closet,
got rid of old hats...
But I'm a Free Agent!
I do what I please!
Instead of do "solider" -
I just say
"whatever".

What would happen if
the dog
passed away,
and the wiff ran away with the
garbage man?

Would you still stay
regimented, soldier?

I like to pretend
we do it together again...
Two god-damned good soldiers -

(whatever)!

I know you've done
every little thing you could
to be it...
So what of your dreams?
Your potentials, gifts and talents,
when the world won't let you see it?

I wish I could rip
the oppression from your eyes!
But my every attempt
seems to tyrannize...
So like you, I'll pretend

I'll act like an excellent soldier.
Chin up,
forward
march

Loved

2011-11-07T23:30:00.001-08:00

It's still very hard to read about the life of Michael Jackson, in an effort to understand what happened to him. In other areas of this blog I've written about Michael's lack of boundaries, how he internalized so much of his pain and confusion regarding people and fame. Today, his doctor of 4 months, Conrad Murray, was judged guilty of criminal negligence, resulting in Michael's death. Excellent verdict. It's just a shame to come to terms with the idea that Michael's life was never really his own. He was always inadvertently run and controlled by other people and their greed. Everyone wanted a piece of Michael Jackson.

The Experience

2011-10-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

The Experience

Loving
is not based in projection or presumption,
nor in complete and total
consumption.
(That's not Love - that's something else.)

Another person
is always entitled
to live, to be free,
to express one's insightful proclivities;
to maintain one's way of center
or preference to stay
or exit
or re-enter.

Appreciation is the turning key,
holding all possibility;
releasing the mind
in its fight to the death;
Experience
is the everlasting breath.

father of lies

2011-10-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

father of lies

people can converse with one another
without establishing a definite;
not every dialog
needs an outcome or closure,
or exorcism.
there is no moral to this story,
unless to simply see
there are lies.
it's impossible to disguise
maturity or wisdom; but lies
are designed to stunt and complex a soul,
and keep it in a state of childish
dramas and schisms.

in the beginning
it starts with stories of santa, what have you,
and the easter bunny;
yet everyone knows and loves
how it's all about Christ and the devil
(that father of lies and denial, who's
always doomed to be the center of some
great spiritual revival).
those "wonderful" holidays
striving for prizes of acceptance,
validation!
we grow out of the stories
without recognition
or perhaps appreciation
of what's real;
instead it's appeal gets muddied
in dust, blood and shadows.

It knows It's struggles to achieve perfection,
so It does what It wants to get
what It needs.

by the time a child is 12-14, she's already heard It.
all.

layer by layer It builds
until one is neurotic by the age of 24.
until one decides
(and yes, that's choice and decision)
to take command of one's life and
put an end to facades once used,
to save face.
but damn! those old "victim" habits and voices
die hard...!
(chronic lying and denial
are that very fall from grace.)

so true, what they say -
one is only as sick as one's secrets
in a time when lying
is the order of the day -
coached, and haunted
by that father,
the one of lies,
whose shadows, demonic,
devise to layer a soul
out of his or her core...
buffered on, to the devil's playground.
as such, one can't ignore
one's loss of innocence:

triggered
by fear and drama,
controlled
by mass pressure, authority and power-over,
many go on to create war...
to compete against and kill-off the very thing
that heals, and makes whole.

To Change, or Die

2011-09-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

He who is not busy Changing is busy Dying.
- Bob Dylan

Surrender is a Form of Orgasm

2011-09-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

SURRENDER
is a form of orgasm...
(Which is why love and sex can have the same fusion, the same spiritual value.)

The Deaths Before Death

2011-09-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

No need here to make a "case" of my judgments, my own bigotry.
(It just attracts MORE.)
I'm facing the Real, head-on...
Is my ego-trip an evil trip? Am I hurting someone here?
Or is this just a small form of DEATH?
How shall I accommodate these small deaths each day -
before the real thing comes along?

Always Going Forward with You

2011-09-15T01:10:00.000-07:00

Always Going Forward with You

I'm so in love with you!
I've said many times
there's no one like you,
never was.

My heart
is always going forward - with you.
If I say "never" that's only ever meant
24 hours, not forever!
I can't imagine my life
without you...
For I have such honor
for where you've come from
where you've been
what makes you who you are -
the light of my heart,
always evolving.

I truly understand and respect
the history of your strength.
You are
the one person in my life
who meets my own freedom's flow;
sustaining my soul
like bread and water.
You raise my being,
erupting
like a sleeping
volcano.

You are the one person
able to meet my vision
and set me free;
you sing to life
my true peace of mind;
and in you I find
sanctuary.

Forgive

2011-09-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Forgive.
It's not your job to play judge and jury.
No need to do it;
turn it over to the Powers That Be.

Being conscientious of our own actions is really quite a responsibility in itself.

Just Do Your Best!!

2011-08-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Objectification

2011-08-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

People objectify others with labels. This is old conditioning.

They tend to LABEL others (with words like "mom" or "angel" or "dad" or "demon" or "black man" or "saint", etc., and worse)... Rather than own their own feelings or express appreciation for someone's presence.

Condemnation: The Setting Sun Mentality

2011-08-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

The Setting Sun Mentality: most people don't understand there are no absolutes, and all living beings are in process. Therefore, they tend to see and condemn things as black or white, good or bad, useful or disposable.

Evolution

2011-08-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

Evolution
means no one needs to be "right",
when all people and situations are works in progress.

STAR MAN

2011-08-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

No Patriarchy.
No God. No Angels.
No Wings. No Harps.
No Pitchforks.

STAR MAN

Loving You in the Abundance of All Life, Always

2011-08-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Chakrasamvara & Consort

2011-08-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

Chakrasmavara & Consort

Neutralizing and Dissolving All Illusions

Imminent Love & Transcendent Reality

Supreme Bliss

Core Laws

2011-08-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

We are all challenged
to find ways to RELAX
out of programmed conditioning
and feel our feelings...

If you can't feel the core of your feelings
and be accountable for what you feel?
You won't get what you want.
It is Law.

Condemnation
will always be met with
anger, defensiveness, resentment
and hatred.

Stay out of my anger.

No one needs to try
and control you here-
(not even with words like "GOD "
or "prayer").

Own your own feelings...
Don't trip me with fear;
by teaching me lies, or how to lie to you
because of your efforts to scare.

Be real...

(It is NOT OK to hang your shit on me.)

A Woman's Nature to Nurture

2011-08-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

It's in a woman's nature, and her essential need, to nurture... Whether she is young or not, married or not. We are creatures who need to feel our feelings and be powerful about it, deep inside. We know our powerful feelings generate energies and vibrations that help us feel good about ourselves. We know, when we cut ourselves off from our feelings at a deep level, the results are dis-ease and illness.

You cannot condemn a woman who has lived through such an experience, you will only earn her disrespect. And if she is a person of substance? She will consider herself to be a spiritual warrior, and will also fight back: but not in the need to confront, no, not ever. If she is a person of substance it will always be with the intention of restoring the balance of wellness. It goes against a woman's natural needs to create war.

Nurturing verses Guilt

2011-08-13T16:43:00.000-07:00

Punishing a child with "negative" consequences only reinforces guilt, shame, resentment, blame, anger and hatred.

Conversely: a child will have a better appreciation of "consequences" when they are used as a reward system... To validate and reinforce well-being, self-worth and joy.

A nurturing parent will teach a child that consequences are earned.

Those who use punishment as leverage to induce guilt or shame will only provoke more. Thus, such emotions become powerful tools of war.

The Law of Transmutation

2011-05-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

For some, the Light is used as fuel, by our Dragons.
For the wise, the Light is Consciousness... Raised in the faith of something greater.
Lighten Up.

The Speed of Love, lyrics by Rush

2011-03-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

"The Speed Of Love"

Love is born with lightning bolts
Electro-magnetic force
Burning skin and fireworks

...A storm on a raging course

Like a force of nature
Love can fade with the stars at dawn
Sometimes it takes all your strength,
Just to keep holding on.

At the speed of love
A radiance that travels
At the speed of love
My heart goes out to you.

Love is born with solar flares
From two magnetic poles
It moves towards a higher plane
Where two halves make two wholes.

Like a force of nature
Love shines in many forms
One night we are bathed in light
One day carried away in the storms
At the speed of love.

Nothing changes faster
Than the speed of love
My heart goes out to you.

We don't have to talk
We don't even have to touch
I can feel your presence
In the silence that we share.

Got to keep moving
At the speed of love
Nothing changes faster
Than the speed of love

Got to keep on shining
At the speed of love
Nothing changes faster
Than the speed of love.

At the speed of love
A radiance that travels
At the speed of love
My heart goes out to you.
~ Rush

Freedom Is to Be Fully and Authentically You

2011-03-08T10:59:00.001-08:00

Freedom means being free of people-pleasing, in order to avoid the temptation of being anything less but fully and authentically YOU.

Transcendence.... Is Never About Running Away.

Shivaratri, 2011

2011-03-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

According to Hindu tradition of India, devotees chant the various names of their personal gods continuously during worship as a mark of devotion. This is done throughout the night, four times each evening. 108 is considered an auspicious number. Siva is extolled through these 108 names during the puja rituals, either by the priests or by the worshipers themselves.

1. OM SHIVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Auspicious One
2. OM MAHESHVARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Great God Shiva
3. OM SHAMBHAVE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who exists for our happiness alone
4. OM PINAKINE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva, who guards the path of dharma
5. OM SHASHISHEKHARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who wears the crescent moon in his hair
6. OM VAMADEVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is pleasing and auspicious in every way
7. OM VIRUPAKSHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God of spotless form
8. OM KAPARDINE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord with thickly matted hair
9. OM NILALOHITAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God splendid as the red sun at daybreak
10. OM SHANKARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the source of all prosperity
11. OM SHULAPANAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who carries a spear
12. OM KHATVANGINE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who carries a knurled club
13. OM VISHNUVALLABHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva, who is dear to Lord Vishnu
14. OM SHIPIVISHTAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord whose form emits great rays of light
15. OM AMBIKANATHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Ambika's Lord
16. OM SHRIKANTAYA NAMAHA Salutations to he whose throat is shining blue
17. OM BHAKTAVATSALAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who loves His devotees like new born calves
18. OM BHAVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is existence itself
19. OM SARVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who is all
20. OM TRILOKESHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who is the Lord of all the three worlds
21. OM SHITAKANTHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the primal soul whose throat is deep blue
22. OM SHIVAPRIYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the god who is dear to Shakti
23. OM UGRAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva whose presence is awesome and overwhelming
24. OM KAPALINE NAMAHA Salutations to the God whose begging bowl is a human skull
25. OM KAMARAYE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who conquers all passions
26. OM ANDHAKASURA SUDANAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who killed the asura Andhaka
27. OM GANGADHARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who holds the Ganges River in his hair
28. OM LALATAKSHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord whose sport is creation
29. OM KALAKALAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who is the death of death
30. OM KRIPANIDHAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is the treasure of compassion
31. OM BHIMAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva whose strength is awesome
32. OM PARASHU HASTAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who wields an axe in his hands
33. OM MRIGAPANAYAE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who looks after the soul in the wilderness
34. OM JATADHARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who bears a mass of matted hair
35. OM KAILASAVASINE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who abides on Mount Kailas
36. OM KAVACHINE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is wrapped in armor
37. OM KATHORAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who causes all growth
38. OM TRIPURANTAKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who destroyed the three demonic cities
39. OM VRISHANKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God whose emblem is a bull (Nandi)
40. OM VRISHABHARUDHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who rides a bull
41. OM BHASMODDHULITA VIGRAHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord covered with holy ash
42. OM SAMAPRIYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God exceedingly fond of hymns from the Sama Veda
43. OM SVARAMAYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who creates through sound
44. OM TRAYIMURTAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is worshiped in three forms
45. OM ANISHVARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the undisputed Lord
46. OM SARVAGYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who knows all things
47. OM PARAMATMANE NAMAHA Salutations to the Supreme Self
48. OM SOMASURAGNI LOCHANAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the light of the eyes of Soma, Surya and Agni
49. OM HAVISHE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who receives oblations of ghee
50. OM YAGYAMAYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the architect of all sacrificial rites
51. OM SOMAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Moon-glow of the mystic's vision
52. OM PANCHAVAKTRAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God of the five activities
53. OM SADASHIVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the eternally auspicious benevolent Shiva
54. OM VISHVESHVARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the all-pervading ruler of the cosmos
55. OM VIRABHADRAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva the foremost of heroes
56. OM GANANATHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God of the Ganas
57. OM PRAJAPATAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the Creator
58. OM HIRANYARETASE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who emanates golden souls
59. OM DURDHARSHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the unconquerable being
60. OM GIRISHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the monarch of the holy mountain Kailas
61. OM GIRISHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord of the Himalayas
62. OM ANAGHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who can inspire no fear
63. OM BUJANGABHUSHANAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord adorned with golden snakes
64. OM BHARGAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the foremost of rishis
65. OM GIRIDHANVANE NAMAHA Salutations to the God whose weapon is a mountain
66. OM GIRIPRIYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is fond of mountains
67. OM KRITTIVASASE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who wears clothes of hide
68. OM PURARATAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is thoroughly at home in the wilderness
69. OM BHAGAVATE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord of prosperity
70. OM PRAMATHADHIPAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is served by goblins
71. OM MRITUNJAYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the conqueror of death
72. OM SUKSHMATANAVE NAMAHA Salutations to the subtlest of the subtle
73. OM JAGADVYAPINE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who fills the whole world
74. OM JAGADGURAVE NAMAHA Salutations to the guru of all the worlds
75. OM VYOMAKESHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God whose hair is the spreading sky above
76. OM MAHASENAJANAKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the origin of Mahasena
77. OM CHARUVIKRAMAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva, the guardian of wandering pilgrims
78. OM RUDRAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is fit to be praised
79. OM BHUTAPATAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the source of living creatures, including the Bhutas, or ghostly creatures
80. OM STHANAVE NAMAHA Salutations to the firm and immovable deity
81. OM AHIRBUDHNYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who waits for the sleeping kundalini
82. OM DIGAMBARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva whose robes is the cosmos
83. OM ASHTAMURTAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who has eight forms
84. OM ANEKATMANE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is the one soul
85. OM SATVIKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord of boundless energy
86. OM SHUDDHA VIGRAHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to him who is free of all doubt and dissension
87. OM SHASHVATAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva, endless and eternal
88. OM KHANDAPARASHAVE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who cuts through the mind's despair
89. OM AJAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the instigator of all that occurs
90. OM PAPAVIMOCHAKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who releases all fetters
91. OM MRIDAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who shows only mercy
92. OM PASHUPATAYE NAMAHA Salutations to the ruler of all evolving souls, the animals
93. OM DEVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the foremost of devas, demigods
94. OM MAHADEVAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the greatest of the gods
95. OM AVYAYAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the one never subject to change
96. OM HARAYE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who dissolves all bondage
97. OM PASHUDANTABHIDE NAMAHA Salutations to the one who punished Pushan
98. OM AVYAGRAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who is steady and unwavering
99. OM DAKSHADHVARAHARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the destroyer of Daksha's conceited sacrifice
100. OM HARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who withdraws the cosmos
101. OM BHAGANETRABHIDE NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who taught Bhaga to see more clearly
102. OM AVYAKTAYA NAMAHA Salutations to Shiva who is subtle and unseen
103. OM SAHASRAKSHAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord of limitless forms
104. OM SAHASRAPADE NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is standing and walking everywhere
105. OM APAVARGAPRADAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the Lord who gives and takes all things
106. OM ANANTAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the God who is unending
107. OM TARAKAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the great liberator of mankind
108. OM PARAMESHVARAYA NAMAHA Salutations to the great God

There are No Absolutes

2011-03-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

VISHNU,

the Higher Intelligence who protects us from evil,

and his wife,

LAKSHMI,

the Goddess of Wealth, Health & Prosperity,

are Shiva's parents.

Everything is Existential. Meaning, everything is relative and situational.
Therefore, all people and beings are subject to transformation...
Depending on how we choose to engage the experience. ♥

________________

For the last few months I've been using "The Work" questions, as outlined by Byron Katie, in her book "I Need Your Love, Is that True?" This is a simple process of breaking-down certain modes of thinking and attitudes that keep people from being joyful. The questions are simply:
Do I know this is true?
Do I absolutely know this is true?
Who would I be without this thought?
What happens if I take the thought, and turn it around on my self?

Who Am I Without These Thoughts?

2011-02-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

Who am I without these thoughts?

I am simply someone who believes in you;
someone who has faith in all you are
and who we are together.

It's because I'm Another You.

Filters of Negativity

2011-02-24T23:15:00.000-08:00

I am so grateful to you for revealing to me these truths.

So many people suffer along the spiritual path. It's a process of seeking... And with that comes breakdown.

We need our egos in order to survive. We need to understand what it is we identify with... And also, how we over-do it by too much thinking.

The ego is the guardian along a murky borderline of illusions... A place where jealousy, control, neediness, isolation, tyranny, oppression and paranoia are joined together by a long string of fault-finding.

Everyone deals with this on some level. Why this process is so exaggerated among those who struggle with mental illness is something else.

The more things are busted down, the more insecure someone becomes. And the soul goes through a dark night of extended pain, and limbo... Because when paranoia happens, the soul has lost its identity. The integrity of person's spirit and body has been crushed.

Actions and emotions like jealousy, control, neediness, isolation, anger, tyranny, oppression and paranoia are simply filters of negativity in the beginning. Something to pay attention to, and honor. It's not possible to change what is not acknowledged.

Such emotions are always signals to you, the one who is living the reality, to back down, regroup and recollect your self.

How Do I React When I Believe These Thoughts?

2011-02-24T00:12:00.000-08:00

How do I react when I believe these thoughts?

I'm suspicious, and I hate it. I'm watching your body language, mostly. Words are ruthless and futile. I'm looking to see what's goin' on in your eyes. I'm looking into you.

People say they hate it, when I stare into them, stare them down... Some have told me, men especially, are shy. They don't like to be stared-down.

I don't believe any of it. I mean, men and women can be equally shy. So what?

I believe the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. I wanna look into your soul. I wanna SEE you, connecting your words and actions. And if that's not happening? I wanna know WHY. I want you to see me, too!

I know you've asked me to trust you... But it's not been in my nature to trust anyone, do you understand? Because I've been oppressed. Tyrannized; made to feel paranoid. Why should you or anyone be the exception? Especially when you're telling me I shouldn't think of you as my lover? (And you are not asking, you're telling me.) You're saying I shouldn't get excited about making "love" or call it "love"? If I believe that, then my reaction to that belief is, I think it's bullshit.

I did ask you to teach me what it was you needed, didn't I.

I understand that now; but hey! People react to things - like need. It's the reason why they can't mind their own business. I know that now. I know we can get more free, by questioning some of the things we believe.

What's ironic is, now there's a reverse kind of sexism going on in the world. I've heard about this. About, women getting out of the military, and how put-off they feel by getting involved with "civilians" - men especially. These women from the military told me all about it; how "civilian" men think things like sex and love are synonymous, when, these women are just wanting to get laid. It's easier to go to a bar, I was told. At least, people who are getting drunk in a bar know love has nothing to do with it. So if you go to a bar, it's possible to pick someone up and go home and have crazy animal sex without any consequences like "love".

Help!

How do I react when I believe these thoughts?! I cry out to God for help!!

I cry. Because it feels like this sort of thinking attempts to kill something inside of me.

I cry out to you.

Values of Civil War, America 1861-1865

2011-02-21T00:39:00.000-08:00

Historians say the American Civil War is a testament to the liberation of the human spirit for all time.

The initial freedom of Black slaves in America was set in the Emancipation Proclamation by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863. Two more years of horrendous killing with destruction to the traditions of slave-owning southern states enabled Blacks to escape north. There, they could also enlist as soldiers and fight for the freedom of their families. The values of the American Constitution are what eventually required a Civil War... Slavery in America was officially outlawed in the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments of the Constitution. It would yet take another century for Blacks to regain ground for which so many had given their lives during the Civil War.

Civil War is not over - - until we have all done our parts to insure our freedom from bigotry, sexism and racism. Our task is to understand our Constitutional Rights and make sure our efforts to create justice is not a joke.

Can I Absolutely Know It's True?

2011-02-18T21:13:00.000-08:00

You can be a Beast, with fangs. For the most part, I like it. Do I really believe this is true? Do I absolutely know it's true? No. Because I've looked into your heart and sense there's not enough love in the world to go around for you... And that's a good thing. (It's the common pain we share.)

I like the idea of us, coming to one another hopeless. It frees us up of the tripping... Even if it feels frightening. We've talked thousand times for a thousand lifetimes... We should know we're safe with with each other!! It's the fault-finding, the paranoia that are poisons to truth-seekers. We have what it takes to work it out!

Life is unconditional love. Evolution comes in giving ourselves permission to close-down the "gates", open our hearts. Sure, it's god-damned painful! At a core level, there's something twisted with those who need to use others as a technique of personal growth.

How Do You Know It Was Meat Loaf?

2011-02-18T20:59:00.001-08:00

How Do You Know It Was Meat Loaf?

How do you know it was meat loaf?
If these children were living in squalor
in a bus - not even a trailer -
with a "person" (not female)
who could not be their mother...?

The police and social workers
had every right
to look into the neglect;
the report was abuse -
but what would be next -
for two small girls
who complained for their food?
Their ribs and existence

showing thin cracks of hope -
they should have been thankful???

But how do you KNOW
it was meat loaf?

Is It True?

2011-02-18T20:41:00.000-08:00

My mother is a bear...

No, it's not true; my mother is not a bear. She's a human being who continues to be deeply wounded, because she was abused as a child. Like many men and women I know... But with people, there is always a certain amount of denial. And with that, projection of abuse. So in my mind, it becomes a bearish, animalistic thing I don't always understand.

As a child, you learn to extend your energy beyond your body in order to "read" and predict the energy of another (also known as empathy). Not a good thing. It can make for a continuous identity crisis if you are never taught or encouraged to individuate... If no one has ever told you it's ok to love yourself, or shown you that all the real love you need comes from within.

There is a certain amount of paranoia that comes with being empathic. Many people live with it, not knowing this is the reason some are calling the New Millennium "The Age of Anxiety". Something we have inherited from the Baby-Boomers and bearish people who have been taught that life is "disposable", a throw-away.

Is it true, that my mother is a bear? No. It's not true, but I am also beyond caring because it has taken over 45 years for me to figure out the truth, and who I would be without this belief.

Denial on de Nile

2011-02-18T07:58:00.000-08:00

I SEE YOU

I C U

Revivals of Religion and Revivals in the Slave-Trade Go Hand in Hand Together - Frederick Douglass

2011-02-16T14:59:00.000-08:00

http://www.hstc.org/frederickdouglass.htm

"I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slave-holding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of the land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity. I look upon it as the climax of all misnomers, the boldest of all frauds, and the grossest of all libels. Never was there a clearer case of 'stealing the livery of the court of heaven to serve the devil in.' I am filled with unutterable loathing when I contemplate the religious pomp and show, together with the horrible inconsistencies, which every where surround me. We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fills the pulpit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus. . . . The slave auctioneer’s bell and the church-going bell chime in with each other, and the bitter cries of the heart-broken slave are drowned in the religious shouts of his pious master. Revivals of religion and revivals in the slave-trade go hand in hand together. The slave prison and the church stand near each other. The clanking of fetters and the rattling of chains in the prison, and the pious psalm and solemn prayer in the church, may be heard at the same time. The dealers in the bodies and souls of men erect their stand in the presence of the pulpit, and they mutually help each other. The dealer gives his blood-stained gold to support the pulpit, and the pulpit, in return, covers his infernal business with the garb of Christianity. Here we have religion and robbery the allies of each other—devils dressed in angels’ robes, and hell presenting the semblance of paradise."
— Frederick Douglass
(Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass)

Revivals of Religion
and Revivals in the Slave-Trade
Go Hand in Hand
Together
- Frederick Douglass, 1818-1895

"The Soul That Is Within Me No Man Can Degrade." — Frederick Douglass

2011-02-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
— Frederick Douglass

"Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work."
— Frederick Douglass

"Slaves sing most when they are most unhappy. The songs of the slave represent the sorrows of his heart; and he is relieved by them, only as an aching heart is relieved by its tears."
— Frederick Douglass
(The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave)

"The white man's happiness cannot be purchased by the black man's misery."
— Frederick Douglass

Frederick Douglass, 1818-1895

2011-02-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.hstc.org/frederickdouglass.htm

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence."
— Frederick Douglass

"We deem it a settled point that the destiny of the colored man is bound up with that of the white people of this country... We are here, and here we are likely to be. To imagine that we shall ever be eradicated is absurd and ridiculous. We can be remodified, changed, assimilated, but never extinguished. We repeat, therefore, that we are here; and that this is our country; and the question for the philosophers and statesmen of the land ought to be, What principles should dictate the policy of the action toward us? We shall neither die out, nor be driven out; but shall go with this people, either as a testimony against them, or as an evidence in their favor throughout their generations."
— Frederick Douglass

"The American people have this to learn: that where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob, and degrade them, neither person nor property is safe."
— Frederick Douglass

It's Always Been a Soul Thing

2011-02-14T22:59:00.000-08:00

It's Always Been a Soul Thing

I'm really happy
to be wearin' your ring;
hope you clearly get it -
with me, it's always been
a soul thing.
Each time we meet
it's a love/sex reunion;
no need for separation,
it's a spiritual communion.
There's never been anything like
loving you, and our sexual space -
but if it makes you feel better -

I'll just think of you as a "Special Case".

Love and sex are synonymous -
with me it's loving, not no fling.
Be a Man
and understand
it's always been a soul thing.
There's never been anything like
loving you, and our sexual space -
but if it makes you feel better -

I'll just think of you as a "Special Case".

The Curse

2011-02-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

The Curse

Once Upon a Time...
Young girls were told
all they have to do is fall asleep,
waiting in bait
for the handsome prince to come,
to wake us from
some unknown mysterious curse.

We weren't told
Waking Up is never easy...
No Prince can provide that service.

No Prince can resolve an evolution
in this fine-tuned creation called "me".

The Me Puppet

2011-02-14T00:25:00.000-08:00

The Me Puppet

"I need you to sit where I can see you. I need you to tell me what you're thinking. I need you to tell me the truth. To never leave me. To trust me. To believe me. To be on time. To keep your promises. To smile. To hold my hand in public. To be more outgoing. To listen to me. To be available. To help me. To marry me.

To stay with me. To sleep with me. To give me your money. To nurture me. To agree with me. To see that you're wrong. To know when I want to be alone. To know what I need without having to be told. To be less sensitive. To be more sensitive. To stop being friendly to people I don't like. To be nicer to my friends. To change the music. To love me."
- Byron Katie
I Need Your Love - Is That True?

Personalities Don't Love, They Want Something - by Byron Katie

2011-02-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

Personalities don't love, they want something. "If you love me, you'll do what I want" - Is It True? In any case, if you do your best to figure out all the rules and obey them, do you get my love? No. You get to tip-toe around me, so that you can minimize my anger and continue the relationship. Love seems to have disappeared. Where did it go? You can find out by questioning the thought "If you love me, you'll do what I want."

This is a thought most people have believed for as long as they can remember. The child expects his playmate to play the games he wants to play. If not, there's a big fight, and they both stomp off to find an adult to complain to. "He's not my friend anymore!" The belief that a friend is someone who will do what you want is already fully active in the child. He learned it from his parents, who told him they loved him and rewarded him with praise when he obeyed them, and punished him when he didn't. His parents never questioned the thought that obedience is an expression of love, so why should he?
- Byron Katie "I Need Your Love - Is That True?"

The Beast c) Orandon

2011-01-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

The Beast

A simple white rose,
a box of shining seeds;
before I knew these
I was losing hope.

Jealousy
was a raging disease
eating into the core of this place...

There was a time
in ancient days
when many beings of every race
walked upon this ground...
Giants, ogres, witches...
Magicians, fairies, and elves,
as well as humans
unique unto themselves.

A human Prince
who in his youth sought an alliance -
could not unite them
in defiance.

He was a young man
who would be ruler of the land,
yet even he
refused the hand
of one who found him vain.

And so, he was cursed -
and it was
the Beast that he became.

His body, mind and castle
are this enchanted place...

"For you must keep the Secret!
And never reveal what happened
to your original face...
Or what you need, or feel
until a day when
Beauty finds you
and loves you back
to being real.
And all you know
shall be frozen in time
secluded in your heavy skins
until you change your mind."

Tricks of enchantment
anchored me into his world;
heart and hands torn and bleeding
pushing past the thorns
around his soul.

He was kind... And did his best
to put a common ground beneath my feet -
but he was a Beast
who could not sit and eat -
a wild thing, who had to learn
to hunt for sustenance;
his food, his meat.

Accepting his fate and anger,
he never showed his fears;
instead his feelings flooded through me
as confused and angry tears.

For anger is a mystery
dividing those
struggling to see
how it happens, they are apart.
And yet I know His eyes... Are my eyes
His mouth, my lips;
His heart... My heart.

This is our common ground;
a simple rose, a box of seeds
thorns piercing each and every wound...
This all must be allowed,
like some spiritual crucifixion,
surrendering.

Where pain and anger are dissolved,
transformation can begin
a new resolve;
a self-realization,
allowing the spiritual in.
Burning away such curses
to let two new loves grow...
Such Beauty, these white roses...
Bursting through the snow.

c) Orandon Marie 1/28/11

Immanence & Transcendence (sadomasochism)

2011-01-23T14:44:00.000-08:00

Immanence & Transcendence

We're only acquainted through games...
Of ripping and stripping
illusions.
You call it Slash and Slash Back.
Slash and slash and slash and slash...
(Who's getting cut, really?)

I call it Smoke and Mirrors.
Blow smoke in my face, I hold up a mirror.
I blow smoke in your face, you slash.
Some call it Snakes and Ladders;
A toss of the dice.

Knock me down a notch, I'll crawl up your ass.
I knock you down;
do you continue to slash?

Spiritual games of tension...
Between immanence and transcendence.

Try.

I am a Child of God
and God is immanent in me.
When I'm functioning as a healer,
that's between God and I.
You can't touch this.

Haunted Hallway

2011-01-23T02:06:00.000-08:00

ILLUSION?!

Criticism
is a haunted hallway
of dist0rted mirrors.

OUTSIDERS

2011-01-22T22:44:00.000-08:00

outsiders...

you or i
have little
(if any) control
our lives
a series of happenings
chalk it off
as one more reckoning

forget about
normal patterns
we're just
outsiders

jackin' it up

founding a friendship
in fits
and starts, so illegit -
there's nothing
to be DONE
about it
no matter how we talk or shout
about it

too remote to impose
we lose
composure
knowing there's NEVER any
fucking closure

forget about
the "normal" patterns
we're just
outsiders
jackin' it up

always in
transformation
without a formal graduation
pushing-up deep
unacknowledged need
like some abhorrent garbage heap

you're right
it's only private greed

like heaven and earth
meeting
the answers always
underway
when nothin's left to say

forget about
the "normal" patterns
we're just
outsiders
jackin' it up

Peroxide Suicide

2011-01-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

Peroxide Suicide

No amount of peroxide can keep a man from being a tyrant.
(But then, perhaps he's not a real man.)

Loud yelling, screaming and abusive language

have a way of forcing the listener to push her identity way down.
Is it then any wonder
a woman would resort to drug-use
and/or suicide?

At the Ends of the Universe - Egyptian Book of the Dead, Chapter 55

2011-01-04T15:04:00.000-08:00

At the ends of the Universe
is a blood-red cord that ties life to death,
man to woman, will to destiny.
Let the knot of that red sash,
which cradles the hips of the goddess,
bind in me
the ends of life and dream.

I'm an old man
with more than my share of hopes and misgivings.
Let my thoughts lie together in peace.
At my death, let the bubbles of blood
on my lips
taste as sweet as berries.
Give me not words of consolation.

Give me magic, the fire of one beyond
the borders of enchantment.
Give me the spell of living well.

Do I lie on the floor of my house, or within the temple?

Is the hand that soothes me
that of wife or priestess?
I rise and walk.
The sky arcs ever around, the world spreads itself
beneath my feet.
We are bound...
Mind to Mind, Heart to Heart -
no difference rises between
the shadow of my footsteps and the Will of God.

I walk in harmony,
heaven in one hand, earth in the other.
I am the knot where two worlds meet.
Red magic courses through me
like the blood of Isis,
magic of magic, spirit of spirit.
I am proof
of the power of gods.
I am water and dust...
Walking.

-The Knot of Isis, Chapter 55
The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Translation by Normandi Ellis

~ ~ ~ LOVE IS ~ ~ ~ by ORANDON c)2010

2010-06-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Time to Love Yourself
Love Who You Are
Love All That Is

If It Says "Love", Be IT

Keep the Intention of Loving Alive in You

Practice Loving-Kindness
Towards Yourself At All Times

Let the Universe Only Hear
the Intention of Love From You
(spoken and unspoken)

Love It, Good, Bad, & Ugly
Keep Silent in Love
Love Your Secrets into Life

When It Hurts Understand It Wants Love

Accept Nothing Less Than Love
Anything Less than Love is Not for You,
It's Something Else

Love Is Grace
Love is Allowing
Love is Spiritual Awareness
Love Has Potential
Love Is All
Love is Light
Love is Knowledge
Love is Real
Love Speaks Without Words
Love Chooses Peace
Love Chooses Joy

Love Yourself Through the Pain
Love Others Through Their Pain
Love Your Neighbor
Love is the Highest Power
Love Never Dies

Love Knows No Bounds

Humanity, by Hildegard of Bingen

2010-05-29T23:23:00.000-07:00

"Humanity finds itself in the midst of the world. In the midst of all other creatures, humanity is the most significant, and yet the most dependent upon the others. Humanity is small in stature, but powerful in strength of soul. With head directed upward, with feet firm on the ground, humanity can set all things in motion; things above as well as things below."
- Hildegard of Bingen

Unfinished Business

2010-05-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

UNFINISHED BUSINESS Quietly, she got in her limo and rode to the morgue. She was going to visit her dead son's body. She went every day for a month. Sitting beside him, she prayed, asking all right the questions she never bothered to question before... The main one being "why?" She sat in silence, weeping and waiting. Then, when it was time, the coroner, the funeral directors and the state took all his paperwork. They stamped it "EXPIRED".

Loving Is the First Potential

2010-05-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

My vow of silence lasted 14 days. Thankfully, I had plenty of friends to support me in the process, while I was able to review my needs.

The time was useful for everyone involved. We all realized we were not wanting to be judged. In this instance, it's really better for people to start asking questions. If you love someone and are feeling hurt? It's by far better to inquire into the situation. I was not being given this chance. So, I felt it was better for me to sustain silence, especially as there were several people involved.

Everyone had a chance to review their priorities. A period of silence will do this. It has the power to make or break friendships, depending on how it's handled. The point is to deepen our connection to one another, or let go.

Relationships are not static things; our boundaries, needs and desires change constantly. Fine-tuning these issues has everything to do with reaching for qualities in our spirits, like more trust, more honesty, deeper loving. Most people are not finding this in their lives. They are only encountering potentials. They don't know how to go about sharing their light. It becomes an attitude - my way or the highway. And all of us on this planet right now, are undergoing changes to our light-bodies (spirits).

Love and trust sustain themselves as spiritual qualities for the duration that we work on ourselves, keep our hearts open and aim to be as honest and as real as possible. Then perhaps there's an opportunity to establish more than a bond with someone. Bonding happens emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. All these rays of light meet in the heart. They are not going to get into a heart that's been hardened.

Different people have different ways of going about creating bonds. Men and women are different; we have to keep our minds and hearts open. We have to be willing to understand that each person and each situation is going to be unique.

Personal boundaries are important; but it's also important, to be mindful that, if one is too rigid, it will put a relationship in limbo. This is always dangerous. Because this is where the judgment and bigotry happen (usually behind someone's back). Limbos keep people locked-up in the past, or in the dark.

Seeing and knowing this, I hope to deepen my love with you. I appreciate you as you are; but I also want you to be honest with me. If you can't be yourself, or if I am holding back on you in some way, where you can't see me as I am? Our love will remain a spiritual ideal. It will not be grounded here, in this reality... Which is what I want. And which is what I hope for you as well!

The love I hold for you will never change.

Why Take a Vow of Silence?

2010-05-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

I am taking a vow of silence today, for the second time in my life. For me it is all about trust, establishing the heart connections I need in my life to keep my integrity intact. If someone cannot meet me here, then we will simply have to meet in spirit, however that works.

The first time I ever took a vow of silence many years ago (1993) on the job. There was a lot of tyranny going on in the workplace that was dividing and oppressing people. Since I was in a central position (the receptionist for the institution!) I informed everyone I’d be taking a vow of silence. I let them know I would be mirroring their oppression right back at them… Until we got some procedures in place to give people a voice.

It took about 3 days to let everyone know (with notes) I was taking this vow. Of course they all laughed. As I was working the front phones and the desk, I still had to do my job, but only spoke as it was necessary. People stopped by my desk, trying to provoke me into conversation. Each person presumed they were an exception. I would just look at them. After 14 days (which was a strain, and extremely difficult for everyone) people were irate. It was difficult, because it seemed somehow I was adding to their suffering.

Looking back, I now know I was just mirroring and reflecting their “stuff”. I was no longer participating in the game of searching for approval, or people-pleasing. I saw into their lack of courage to speak up for themselves; to take a stand in who they are. To stop being superficial, self-absorbed, narcissistic. To quit returning to their words like a puppy returns to its own vomit.

It was just a matter of days before they were all complaining. They eventually went to the management to make it stop. There was really nothing management could do. Eventually they called a meeting, and gave everyone a voice.

There are a lot of people out there who are in pain, and who aren’t dealing with it. They just go on to treat situations and other people as being “disposable”. I am sorry for the younger generations… Because I know you all feel this more acutely in your lives. Now it’s just exaggerated to extremes via our technology – the internet, texting, facebook, etc.

Let people clearly know about your vow. (This may take a few days.) You may also invite people to leave messages for you, but inform them you will not be responding until you are able to FEEL the investment on your commitment to keep silence until the energy is balanced. Divest yourself of the technology; boycott it, if necessary. Stop pouring your money and resources into dead-ends.

We all need something more in our lives… Some of the Buddhist values a vow of silence is going to teach you: more patience, more compassion; deeper connections in person, and at the level of the heart. And until I start feeling that, I’m kicking in with a new vow of silence, today. It may be the only way to gain someone’s trust, when they are too busy, you know, acting-out as a human-doing...? And not a human being.

The Muse Who Came to Stay, by Erica Jong

2010-04-25T18:39:00.000-07:00

The Muse Who Came to Stay

You were the first muse who came to stay.
The others began and ended with a wish,
or a glance or a kiss between stanzas;
the others strode away in the pointed boots of their fear

or were kicked out by the stiletto heels of mine,
or merely padded away in bare feet
when the ground was too hard or cold
or as hot as white sand baked under the noonday sun.

But you flew in on the wings of your smile,
powered by the engine of your cock,
driven by your lonely pumping heart,
rooted by your arteries to mine.

We became a tree with a double apical point,
reaching equally toward what some call heaven,
singing in the wind with our branches,
sharing sap and syrup,
which makes the tree grow thick.

We are seeding the ground with poems and children.
We are the stuff of books and new-grown forests.
We are renewing the earth with our roots,
the air with our pure oxygen songs,
the nearby seas with leaves we lose
only to grow the greener ones again.

I used to leap from tree to tree,
speaking glibly of Druids,
thinking of myself a latter-day dryad,
or a wood nymph from the stony city,
or some other chimerical creature,
conjured in my cheating poet's heart.

But now I stay, knowing the muse is mine,
knowing no books will banish him
and no off-key songs will drive him away.

I being and begin; I whistle in and out of tune.
If the ending is near, I do not think of it.
If the drought comes, we will make our own rain.
If the muse is grounded, I will make him fly,
and if he falls, I will catch him in my arms
until he flies with me again.

-Erica Jong
Old photo, I believe is by Duffy,
and had to be retouched by me!

Coming Into the Light

2010-04-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

I would love to have this standing statue of Ma'at for my altar here at home... It's generally understood, when you find a statue of a god or goddess holding a "form", they are aligning themselves with the cosmos. In regard to images that you find standing, such as this one, the god or goddess (or Buddha) is more or less establishing a final order. With standing Buddha's for example, the view is that the standing position means it is the Buddha's choice to make it his or her last lifetime. The standing position represents the final judgment, and the ability to come into the light.

The kneeling position of Ma'at is very similar, if not the same, to many statues of Isis. This "form" is showing Ma'at going into a contemplative position of giving birth or new life to a situation. The sitting position represents the ability to go inward, to look into a glass darkly and come out the other side, where everything is eventually revealed to the light.

An Order to Chaos? The Egyptian Cosmology

2010-04-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

Ma'at, the Divine Order, was an ideal world established at creation, summarized as "right order" and personified by a female goddess.

Ma'at was in control of differences, rather than their elimination.

On a cosmic order, creation itself was seen as order amidst chaos. Pharaohs had the responsibility of maintaining this order and keeping enemies at bay.

Humans were seen as being the primary reason for unrest in the world... "Because their hearts break". For Egyptians, the "need to act in accordance with Ma'at" came out of a practical realization, that any other action would result in disorder. So historians believe this is the main reason ancient Egypt never developed a codified system of either civil law, or religious commandments.

Bowie Sound and Vision Cocoon

2010-02-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

No drama here!

It's called "transformation".

David Bowie's 70's Zuit Suit

2010-02-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

Personally, I think the red hair on Ziggy makes his freckles stand out.

My Favorite President, Barack Obama

2010-02-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

Here he is - my favorite President, Barack Obama.

At first glance, I'm thinking, wow - what a handsome man! But what's with this ugly tie? Very distracting. President Obama would do better to lean more towards silvers than gray. He also looks great in pinks and yellows. I especially like him without a tie. In fact, he's too sexy for his tie.

A water paint filter gave this photo texture. I worked with contrasts and highlighting to shift out the gray tones, make them more blue, and set the color of the skin tone. Now you find yourself focusing more on his face? Gorgeous, isn't he?

Bridge of Faith - The Beatles

2010-02-01T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ever ask, what's going on in this photo?

The details make it stand on its own quite well. John, Paul, George and Ringo are on the threshold of individuation. There's a certain resignation in their expressions; a sense of acceptance in the positioning of their hands. They all look like they just finished doing 9 Lives! "Tired!"

The white-glare is shifted out of the photo, deadening the objects around them. I feel they are standing on a bridge... See how each Beatle is focused on looking somewhere off in the distance? This must be a bridge of faith! Notice the images on the door above their heads? It's as if they have just walked out of the past. In the process of letting go of the past, we need faith. Faith in understanding... Our hearts will remain connected, and our love for one another will stay intact - even with "goodbye". Faith is the threshold between the known and the unknown.

Don't blame it on the Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoko Ono

2010-02-01T01:35:00.001-08:00

(This has gotta be one of the crappiest pics, but I still like it!)

Peace means you are able to run your own energy without interference... I think that's important, don't you?

In the later days of the Beatles, George had a confrontation with John. He accused John of hiding behind his glasses...

If more men would allow themselves five years in a love affair with an older, spiritual woman? They would become liberated.

And In the End, It's the Love You Give

2010-02-01T01:07:00.000-08:00

These old Beatles photos by Tom Murray are my faves...

This has got to be one of the most delightful photos, from when I was 9... For me, it captures the essence of what it was like to be a child in the '60's. All You Need Is Love.

First and foremost, I think the success of the Beatles rested in their willingness to do the spiritual giveaway. What comes around goes around. A giveaway is an expression of releasing energy through a gift or a spirit offering. They were having so much fun when they were young! (They didn't know they were losing millions... Until it began to effect their abilities to make music together.)

Resilient Ringo Starr

2010-02-01T00:52:00.000-08:00

Here the fuzziness of this old photo seems to steal away from the impact of the portrait. Still, it's a good photo!

Again using highlighting, contrasting, and a poster filter, the portrait becomes defined. Resilience is not about bouncing back from painful or negative situations. It's not about generating pain or negativity for others with cynicism, unkindness or hostility. Resilience has more to do with suspending cooperation, in order to focus and move forward. Ringo Starr learned resilience early in his childhood. It seems he only does things when his heart is totally in it. Long Live, Ringo!

George Harrison, Spiritual Seeker

2010-02-01T00:39:00.000-08:00

Consciousness is not an easy process. We all need help - teachers, healers, mentors, friends, lovers, angels, guardians. I just wonder where we'd be if George Harrison had not taken those steps. He had a conviction to seek and search and find. He is an exemplar.

Namaste', Beloved.
(Beloved, I honor the Spirit in You.)

Paul McCartney's Soul

2010-02-01T00:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone has their favorite Beatle, and I have mine. (Sure, whenever you tell someone who your favorite Beatle is, it creates controversy...!)

I still think Paul McCartney is one of the most gifted musicians walking around on the planet.

Thank You, for touching our lives with your soul,
and filling our hearts with your music!

Indomitable Spirit, Shaun White

2010-01-31T23:49:00.000-08:00

Original photo of Shaun White, dragged off the public domain. I like this guy! A young man with a tenacious mom, she kept him active when the family learned Shaun was born with a heart defect. Shaun later came through a bad concussion, from a
competitive skateboard collision... He was 11, I think. Still his mom persisted in keeping him going, and his spirit took to it. His life is an example that love can go a long way.

Here, I just adjusted the contrast and highlighting in photoshop, to bring the central figure more "forward". This gives the photo more of a 3D look.

The Indomitable Spirit, Shaun White. My effort here is to dis-cover the "spirit" in the image... What's interesting is to work the the contrasts in a photo. I began to see in Shaun's face, a certain elevation of body and mind. He is perfectly suspended; emotion is neutral and freed-up. He's got mindset one needs if involved in competitive sports.

Using a "cut-up" filter on the highlighted photo, the filter changes things up. I feel it's possible to capture the "energy" and the "action" flowing off the central figure's body.
Fun!

Bjork "Swan" Photoshop

2010-01-23T20:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, I think people can look a little cynical in real life...

Thus, the grace of photoshop! It can enhance a stressful moment captured on camera, and turn it into something romantic. (And screw 'em! Right Bjork?)

John Lennon "Meditation" photoshop

2010-01-21T19:39:00.001-08:00

Original photo of John Lennon

John Lennon "Meditation"; watercolor, '70's style, by me.
I like how, in this one, John's glasses almost look like reflections of tears...

David Bowie "Spirit" photoshops

2010-01-21T19:31:00.000-08:00

Celebrating post #100 with a few pics of one of my most favorite persons on the planet... These photos of Bowie were taken around 1997 - not sure of the photographer, sorry! I used photoshop to emphasis certain qualities of Bowie's spirit... (Yes, you may bite my neck, anytime!!)

Heart of Carnelien

2009-12-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

Sunrise at Alexandria

Heart of Carnelian
Mine is a heart of carnelian,
crimson as murder on a holy day.
Mine is a heart of cornel, the gnarled roots of a dogwood
and the bursting of flowers.

I am
the broken wax seal on my lover's letters.
I am
the red quartz in the deepest of mines.
I am
the phoenix, the fiery sun, consuming and resuming myself.

I pace the halls of the underworld.
I knock on the doors of death.
I wander into the fields to stare at the sun
and lie in the grass, ripe as a fig.
The souls of the gods are with me.
They hum like flies in my ears.
I am I. I will what I will.
Mine is heart of carnelian, blood red as the crest of a phoenix.

Egyptian Book of the Dead
Chapter 53
Translated by Normandi Ellis

The Ritual of Not Letting His Heart Be Carried Off

2009-11-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

My heart, my mother. My heart, my mother. My heart of my becoming. My heart dreams in the house of hearts. My heart sleeps in the house of hearts. My heart ticks in my chest like a beetle. The night waits, still I hear its beating. It resonates like a bow string of an archer. It hums like the string of a lyre.

Love. Love. Give me love, sibilant love, thundering love!

It is myself that speaks to my heart, my ka, my double.

The heart leaps and answers to its name. It's words are the deeds of my body. It's deed have been my own thoughts, its blood the fluid of gods, river of joy and sadness. My heart leaps like a fish in water.

Do not carry off my heart. Do not cut me from my heart.

-The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Normandy Ellis, p.118

Coming Forth by Day

2009-10-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

Coming Forth by Day

Oh spirits
that guide a man through
the dark halls at death,
guide me safely in life
past sorrow and depression,
steer me from fear and anger
and hopelessness.
Let me always know the reason
for my becoming.

Let me hear what gods hear,
see what gods see.
When the sun is blotted from the sky,
let even a small light shine
to steer a man's feet.
Let me stand in light,
bathe in light, clothe myself in light.

Let me sit
in the lap of gods
and hear words of comfort.
Oh offerers
of cake and bearers of beer,
let me not starve for love,
or thirst for wisdom.

Let my spirit be stronger today
than it was yesterday,
my heart more gentle.
Let gods touch my face.
Let me go forth shining.
Let my feet know the way.
Let me walk and pass through fire.
Let wild beasts and thieves by the roadside
go on sleeping pleasant dreams.
Let me pass undeterred
into heaven.

Awaking Osiris
pg 62:2
Translation by Normandy Ellis
from the Egyptian Book of the Dead

I am Love and Memory and Sorrow That Drift Away

2009-09-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

I am Love and Memory and Sorrow that Drift Away

I am air and flame, water and dust.
I am a wick burning in a blue bowl of oil,
a fiery rising in a tranquil sky.
I am the phoenix. I am light.
I come forth by day. I am heat burning up in mist.
I am power, an ancient river overflowing.
I am love and memory and sorrow that drift away.
- The Egyptian Book of the Dead

Michael Jackson Burial; When Nature Wants a Man

2009-09-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

When Nature wants a Man

When nature wants to drill a man
And thrill a man,
And skill a man,
When Nature wants to mould a man
To play the noblest part;
When she yearns with all her heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall praise - -

Watch her method, watch her ways!
How she ruthlessly perfects
Whom she royally elects;
How she hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay
which only Nature understands--

While his tortured heart is crying
and he lifts beseeching hands!
How she bends, but never breaks,
When his good she undertakes...
How she uses whom she chooses
And with every purpose fuses him,
By every art induces him
To try his splendor out - -
Nature knows what she's about.

When Nature wants to take a man
And shake a man
And wake a man;
When Nature wants to make a man
To do the Future's will;

When she tries with all her skill
And she yearns with all her soul
To create him large and whole...
With what cunning she prepares him!

How she goads and never spares him,
How she whets him and she frets him
And in poverty begets him....
How she often disappoints
Whom she sacredly anoints,
With what wisdom she will hide him,
Never minding what betide him
Though his genius sob with slighting
and his pride may not forget!
Bids him struggle harder yet.
Makes him lonely
So that only
God's high messages shall reach him
So that she may surely teach him
What the Hierarchy planned.

Though he may not understand
Gives him passions to command--
How remorselessly she spurs him,
With terrific ardor stirs him
When she poignantly prefers him!

When Nature wants to name a man
And fame a man
And tame a man;
When Nature wants to shame a man

To do his heavenly best...

When she tries the highest test
That her reckoning may bring - -
When she wants a god or king! - -
How she reins him and restrains him
So his body scarce contains him
While she fires him
And inspires him!
Keeps him yearning, ever burning
for a tantalizing goal - -
Lures and lacerates his soul.
Sets a challenge for his spirit,
Draws it higher when he's near it - -
Makes a jungle, that he clear it;
Makes a desert, that he fears it
And subdue it if he can - -

So doth Nature make a man.

Then, to test his spirit's wrath
Hurls a mountain in his path--
Puts a bitter choice before him
And relentless stands o'er him.
"Climb, or perish!" so she says....
Watch her purpose, watch her ways!

Nature's plan is wondrous kind
Could we understand her mind...
Fools are they who call her blind.

When his feet are torn and bleeding
Yet his spirit mounts unheeding,
All his higher powers speeding
Blazing newer paths and fine;
When the force that is divine
Leaps to challenge every failure
and his ardor still is sweet
And love and hope are burning
in the presence of defeat...

Lo, the crisis! Lo, the shout
That must call the leader out.
When the people need salvation
Doth he come to lead the nation....
Then doth Nature show her plan
When the world has found - - a man!

- Angela Morgan

Michael Jackson, Addict, Got What He WantedDr. Kevorkian: Michael Jackson "Got What He Wanted"

2009-09-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

Dr. Kevorkian: Michael Jackson "Got What He Wanted" September 3, 2009

Dr. Jack Kevorkian defended Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray, who is the sole target of the investigation into the late pop star's death by injection.

On Wednesday the now-paroled Kevorkian, 81, told Neil Cavuto, "I don't think he was malicious. Murder is defined as miles of forethought... Did the doctor have forethought? I doubt it."

Murray says he injected Jackson with heavy sedatives including the anesthetic propofol at the singer's request.

"Maybe Jackson craved these things so much he pestered the doctor until he got it." Kevorkian added, "The patient got what he wanted. He is the one who said yes or no to take a drug."

Commentary: 'Michael Jackson was a drug addict'

* Story Highlights
* James Walker: Coroner's preliminary finding shows Jackson died of an overdose
* He says he's one of Jackson's many millions of fans
* He says it's painful to admit Jackson was addicted to drugs
* Walker: Let's stop avoiding the reality of drug addiction in our society

September 2, 2009 -- Updated 2053 GMT (0453 HKT)

By James L. Walker Jr.
Special to CNN

Editor's note: James L. Walker, Jr., author of the book, "This Business of Urban Music," is a sports and entertainment lawyer whose firm, Walker & Associates, is based in Stamford, Connecticut. James L. Walker Jr. says the evidence shows Michael Jackson was addicted to drugs.

James L. Walker Jr. says the evidence shows Michael Jackson was addicted to drugs.

(CNN) -- Michael Jackson died of an overdose, according to the preliminary finding of the Los Angeles coroner described in court documents. The King of Pop apparently was given a variety of drugs that included the powerful sedative propofol, according to authorities.

The news came as a shock to some. But the reality it pointed to was this: Michael Jackson was an addict.

A drug addict is a person who has become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance or drug.

I operate a halfway house and we deal with this struggle regularly with our men, who have become addicts, and they continually tell me how hard it is to overcome. They also tell me that people are vulnerable to addiction whether white or black, rich or poor: Drugs don't discriminate.

I am also an entertainment lawyer who understands the pressures of working in the music industry and the experience of insomnia that Jackson apparently complained about over the years.

And, of course, like millions of others, I am a huge Jackson fan and I own all the records and CDs and had THE jacket (from the "Beat It" video). And, I can sympathize with his sad life, legal problems, personal struggles, family issues and financial meltdown.

But, while I sing his songs regularly and imitate his dance moves, when the laughter and joy stops, it hurts me to admit the reality: Michael Jackson was a drug addict who didn't need to be the center of another musical tour, but needed to be the star patient at a treatment center.

For years, we have heard reports of Michael Jackson being addicted to painkillers and other things.

However, in our society, we tend to overlook that when it's a big name celebrity or someone we love in our circle of family and friends. Celebrities drop in and out of rehabilitation centers and drug abuse facilities nationwide. And, their lives go on and it's merely a passing footnote on the TV ticker running across the bottom of the screen.

With Jackson's tragic death at the young age of 50, hopefully some folks will wake up.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that in the year prior to being surveyed in 2006, 560,000 Americans age 12 and older abused heroin at least once; more than 16 million Americans took prescription pain reliever, tranquilizer, stimulant, or sedative for nonmedical purposes; 6 million abused cocaine in any form; and 1.5 million abused crack.

In the case of Jackson, there is a lot of finger pointing at Dr. Conrad Murray and several other doctors, who may or may not be charged.

But, while we mourn the Motown legend and the tragedy of his life and death, it is important to note that this sad story sheds light on a much bigger problem in America: drug abuse.

Author Deepak Chopra, a friend of Jackson, has been telling us for weeks now on national TV outlets that Jackson had a drug problem.

"Dr. Murray is the one who is going to be blamed because he injected the drug, but from what I've learned he did not prescribe the drug," Chopra told CNN in reminding investigators to look deeper and further than Dr. Murray.

Like Chopra, I hope investigators will go deeper, but I hope we will go deeper as a society.

Jackson sold hundreds of millions of records, including the top selling album of all time, "Thriller." With his death, we can reach and teach billions of the dangers of drug use. Unfortunately, he joins a long list of major artists who have seen superstar careers end by the mortal reality that drug addiction can kill you.

It hurts us to talk about Jackson's drug addiction or drug problems, as it hurts us to look at a near-century of great artists struggling with drug issues and in some cases dying at the hands of drugs -- from jazz legend Billie Holiday's drug problem to Marilyn Monroe's overdose to singer Dorothy Dandridge's death from anti-depressants.

Elvis Presley's death brought to public light his prescription drug addiction. And, we saw in recent years Kurt Cobain's heroin-induced suicide death, and the 2004 death of Rick James, who wrote "Superfreak," from a drug-related heart attack.

Too often these stories don't prompt substantial national outrage and we fail to break the stereotypical picture of what we think of when we hear the words "drug addict."

Police and prosecutors are still mum on whether Jackson's death will result in criminal charges. It is not clear who is at fault. But no one is disputing that Jackson asked for these drugs repeatedly over the years, like most drug addicts, and had a sickness that afflicts millions of other Americans.

So, let the legal system play out, but let's stop avoiding what hurts the most, so we can save millions of other drug addicts from this horrible nightmare and other families from the pain the Jackson family will now live with forever.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of James L. Walker, Jr.

A Question of Self-Worth - Michael Jackson

2009-08-31T16:59:00.000-07:00

I'm very sad to think Michael Jackson could not have ever been free enough to be himself.

Michael, age 18

This is a great risk any person takes when it comes to celebrity. It would be easy to become trapped in a public role, or expectation in being a public figure, where you are not treated as anything more than a commodity. I feel this is what the value system of the Jackson family is all about; it's "normal". It's important to pay attention to what people DO, not what they say! The Jackson family has always been about "doing it" for the money. Michael never really knew or understood how to get around it. He was pressured all of his life to be it.

Michael, age 49

He was searching for himself in things... (Including seeing women and children as "things" to be objectified. If he really cared, he would have tried harder to be healthy and keep living... But he was noted to be dismissive of kids once they became a certain age; and of women, if they needed him to act like a man.)

Michael was into quick-fixes like purchases, surgeries, and altering his facial features and skin as a way to act-out against his father. His preoccupation with kids was derived from having his own sexuality being stifled by his mother's religious beliefs.

Was he a victim? Yes, I think so.

He was trapped in a role... Therefore, he was a master of what he was able to do on stage, but the moment he got off stage, he was infantile. He was able to get away with that, and no one ever dared called him on it, or they would be cut-off.

He was in charge of his art form, but he was not in control of himself. And I think this is the crux of what lead to his "dangerous" existence: sadly, he was more "dangerous" to himself than anyone else.

I'm also very sad because I think Michael could have gotten some help. He was a smart guy, ingenious in many ways... But given the constraints of his beliefs and his values, he got away with all kinds things by just paying people off. So it was inevitable he became surrounded by the wrong kinds of people. He stopped paying attention... When people do not share your values and beliefs, they can trick you into a relationship you might not want. Michael was just used to buying people, you know?

Let me just repeat, it was inevitable he became surrounded by the wrong kinds of people. I think he knew what was happening, intuitively. He tells his story in the lyrics to his songs and videos. He just didn't know how to help himself. He wasn't able to trust anyone. He did not even trust himself.

During the most stressful times of his life, when he should have been held accountable for his actions, he turned to doctors. I've seen this happen to many people who were not in control of their lives; they either turned to recreational drug and alcohol abuse (as Michael did, allegedly), or surrender all their power over to pain meds and doctors.

Doctors are trained to coach their patients into accepting that they are the ones in control.

Stir a drug dependency into the mix, and it's very easy for a patient to lose his or her willpower.

I think Michael began to feel powerless in his relationships with people. He was able to control them with his money and prestige, but only up to a point. In fact, kids would get bored with him. So I believe his next course of action was to take his personal fixations with his looks and surgery and turn it all into a sort of hypochondria and illness.

Michael never knew what it was to be loved unconditionally. I have mentioned this earlier in my blog here; but I want to be specific in pointing out how, being sick is a way to put gravity into a situation, and get love and affection. Even if you have to pay a doctor for that attention.

Michael never had it in himself to uphold his own self-worth. Like everything else, he saw himself as a thing... A human doing, not a human-being.

Did Hyochondria Get the Worst of Michael Jackson?

2009-08-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

It's no secret Michael Jackson was ill. I just wonder if hypochondria got the worst of him? I believe he gave his doctors WAY too much power-over his life.

Today I perused the web just to track down some records of what was speculated about his condition, starting with the list of medications he was using:

Jackson: Death ruled a Homicide.
By Lorena Blas, USA TODAY
August 31, 2009
Fans and family marked Michael Jackson's 51st birthday Saturday as the inquiry into the singer's death officially became a homicide investigation.

On Friday, the Los Angeles County coroner's office announced that Jackson's death June 25 was a homicide. The specific cause of death was "acute propofol intoxication."

The Associated Press had reported last Monday that the death was a homicide. The coroner's report, parts of which were released Friday, said other sedatives contributed to the death, including lorazepam, sold under the brand name Ativan. Other drugs detected in the singer's body were midazolam, diazepam, lidocaine and ephedrine. The coroner's office said the full report was not released at the request of the Los Angeles Police Department, which is still investigating the case.

Virtually bald, face a mass of plastic surgery scars; bridge to nose had vanished and right side caved in. Several ribs broken, four injection sites aimed at the heart; stomach only filled with partially-dissolved pills; severely emaciated.

Recent skin cancer surgery, unexplained bruising on knees and shins; bruises and mild cuts to his back, and injection marks over much of the body.

Hollywood Grind Michael Jackson May be Seriously Ill Again Posted on February 12, 2009 at 11:19 am(PST)

There have been a lot of rumors floating around for years that Michael Jackson is seriously ill, and it’s not hard to believe since he is always look frail with his surgical masks, and frequent visits to the doctor. In the photo above Michael was visiting another doctor, who probably gave him surgical mask and hair net to leave with.

Concern has been raised by the look of Michael’s hands. They look really scary. Like some fake Halloween hand, but it’s his real hand.

Now we are hearing rumors that Michael has a very serious Staphylococcus aureus bacterial infection, often referred to as "staph." Human skin has staph on it all the time, but a cut can get infected with staph if not cared for properly, and an immuno compromised person is more likely to get such an infection. Staph can also infect the lungs with Staph pneumonia, but rumors say Michael may have a skin infection, and not a standard Staph infection, but rather a sometimes deadly MRSA infection. MRSA stands for methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. We are hearing Michael is getting powerful antibiotics intravenously, which would mean it’s very serious.

Get well soon Michael, if you’re really sick.

IF you're really sick? What happened to this guy...? From what I can tell, the intensive bleaching of his skin was what may have compromised Michael's immune system. And who knows when that began? More on this below...

Report: Michael Jackson Suffering From Potentially Fatal Health Issues Sunday, December 21, 2008 |
FoxNews.com
Michael Jackson is reportedly in desperate need of an emergency transplant operation to save his life from a rare lung condition, according to the author of a new biography of the singer.

Best-selling author Ian Halperin has completed a book about Jackson’s life, which claims that the pop icon, 50, suffers from Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, a potentially fatal genetic illness, as well as emphysema and gastrointestinal bleeding.

“He’s had it for years, but it’s gotten worse,” Halperin told In Touch magazine.

“He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it … [But] it’s the [gastrointestinal] bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.” Halperin also claims that the “Thriller” and “Bad” singer can barely speak and is 95-percent blind in his left eye.

Earlier this year, Jackson was photographed in a wheelchair. A few weeks ago, he was spotted receiving help walking, while wearing a Zorro style mask.

Jackson’s rep was not available for comment.

It is evident Michael's immune system was compromised. If he was indeed going blind in his left eye, this might have been a signal of a heart condition (the left eye being above his heart, and being affected by blocked bloodflow from the heart). The left side of his body might have begun the process of shutting down as evidently early as last December, 2008. Essentially, with the sorts of drugs being prescribed for Michael, his nervous system was being systematically shut down. As I may have mentioned earlier in this blog, he could have ended up completely brain-dead and in a coma.

Jacko's Nanny in Hiding
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
FoxNews.com
By Roger Friedman

Michael Jackson isn’t the only one from his camp trying to avoid testifying in England.

His kids’ nanny, Grace Rwamba, has skipped the US to tour India, friends in Los Angeles say. Grace, to paraphrase John Cusack, is gone.

And I as I reported first here yesterday, Jackson refuses to come to England because he’s claiming sickness. In fact, Jackson has told his lawyer to tell the British court that he has a skin disease that’s preventing him from traveling.

But of course Jackson has always said he has the skin disease Vitiligo, causing him to lose melanin from his pigmentation. He’s always said that’s the reason he’s turned white over the years. It was, however, revealed here a couple of years ago that Jackson uses a whitening cream made with acids and created by the Mickey Fine Pharmacy in Beverly Hills. That came out when he failed to pay his bill there. Jackson’s "skin disease" hasn’t stopped him in the past two years from traveling all over the middle East, to Japan, to Las Vegas, and Ireland. The notion that Jackson is too sick to travel is absolutely laughable at this point.

I have a hard time believing this is vitiligo... It is absolutely absurd, and what's even more odd is how Michael seemed to be the only person in his family affected by this condition. If the skin bleaching creams contained acid, and if indeed he was using these skin creams several times a day for several years - just imagine what those acids were doing to his internal organs!

From his photo you can see how Michael's fingers were NOT bleached, lending to a dead-like look in his hands. Walking around with a stomach full of pills, and no real nutritional sustenance in his body left it an open catalyst for a staph infection. Numerous surgeries to his nose may have created lent to a breathing or lung disorder and further disease.

When I first started reading up on Michael's condition last March, I found reports where surgeries were being done earlier this year to graft skin from his ear onto his nose...

Well - as an added interest - I found this to be an ironic and funny header - - even Jackson's lawyer becomes sick! Interesting to see how this conundrum of illnesses hit big-time, all during the second child molestation trial in 2005.

Now Jackson Lawyer Sick
March 24, 2005 - 11:08AM

Brian Oxman, one of Michael Jackson's lawyers, is wheeled from the courtroom on a stretcher.

One of US pop singer Michael Jackson's lawyers was in hospital today after being taken ill in court in California at the singer's child sex trial.

Lawyer Brian Oxman became ill just after today's hearing, during which the court was shown pornographic magazines seized from Jackson's home, came to an end.

The lawyer had to be helped from the courtroom before being carried on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance.

The drama came just two days after Oxman's famous client starred in his own courtroom medical emergency when he turned up looking pained and accompanied by a doctor in hospital scrubs.

Jackson's publicist said later he was suffering "excruciating" back pain after a fall less than two weeks ago and was under medical treatment.

Earlier the judge denied a bid by prosecutors to show jurors evidence - including teen porn - seized from Neverland Valley Ranch.

Prosecutors said the four hard drives from the 14 computers police seized from a November 2003 raid on Jackson's estate showed the pop star was a practised web surfer who looked at teen-themed porn sites as well as sites related to Walt Disney, toys and photographs of adoptable children.

Jackson's accuser, now 15, has told jurors in the trial that the 46-year-old pop star showed him and his brother pornographic Websites during their first visit to Neverland.

Santa Barbara County Deputy District Attorney Gordon Auchincloss called the computer evidence "powerful corroboration" of that testimony by Jackson's accuser.

"This is important evidence that this defendant views teen erotic materials in his bedroom," Auchincloss said.

But in a setback for prosecutors, Santa Barbara County Superior Court Judge Rodney Melville said he would not let the material be introduced at trial.

Defence lawyers had argued that much of the material was not from February and March of 2003, the period during which Jackson is accused of sexually molesting the then-13-year-old boy and plying him with alcohol.

They also said the pornographic material in question was heterosexual, featuring girls or women, and that much of it had been automatically cached by the computers, meaning it was not clear that Jackson had retrieved it or seen it.

"The court will grant the defense motion not to allow," the material, Melville said. "It does appear to be cached material.

There's no way of knowing if anyone looked at it or not."

Prosecutors unsuccessfully argued that evidence linked Jackson to the computers, including recovered aliases for instant messaging services - BigMike and King777Tut - that they suggested the pop star had used online.

There are No Ghosts at Neverland

2009-08-28T01:57:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson wax doll, Madame Tussauds, Hollywood 8/2009

There are No Ghosts at Neverland

I saw the bit from the Larry King show posted on youtube... I thought it was really in poor taste. But a lot of people are gettng a kick outta it - an additional scene of an ugly "dead" looking MJ pops up in the last bit of footage? and shrieks like a banshee... Horrible.

It may be cameras captured some phenomena at Neverland, but I don't feel Michael had any intention of hanging around here. If anything, he would want to be born again as a child. It is very difficult (and not recommended) to entertain the paranormal, especially without first looking deeply into a person.

The problem is, with the kinds of drug use and addiction Michael had, such activity rips holes in the aura (energy field) of a person. (See my Jesus Heart Blog for more information on this.) It is possible to see this with a lot of people who are on drugs or are heavy users of alcohol. It looks as if some part of their body is graying - like a shadow. That shadow can go on to reverberate in a distant place, stuck in time and space.

With Michael Jackson there was an energy block happening between his eyes, above his nose, and at the back of his head; he was going brain-dead. There was something going on around his heart and his back, too. (I could see this in photos that were taken after the second lawsuit in 2003 - the pictures of Michael standing on top of his limo, with sunglasses, and long straight hair. He just looked lifeless. The expression in his face looked like no one was "home".)

Michael Jackson, 5/2009

(note the prayer beads around his neck)

So what happens with drug use is, bits of the soul are scattered about, even blown-out by force.

Native American Indians have ceremonies for people with scattered souls, which are called "soul retrievals". For instance, if someone is raped or attacked, the experience can push the soul out of the body, so a soul retrieval ceremony is done.

Psychotherapy is a modern form of soul retrieval.

There was a part of Michael that NEVER left Neverland (the guilt part). You see, of course, he was never gonna admit that, but he had to live with it. Emotions like guilt and shame can fragment the soul. It only seems supernatural in discussion, because we cannot see it - but we can sense it and feel it happening in ourselves and others. We can learn to deal with it more successfully by being compassionate and caring. In fact, the soul is very child-like. It's not limited to time, but it only has the understanding of about a 4 or 5 year old.

This is why prayer is useful... Prayer helps the soul to understand and stay connected with our Higher Power. The soul, the Higher Power and the body are conjunctively what animate spirit, keep us breathing and alive.

It's not a ghost, it's an energy there, that is just hanging around, waiting for resolution. By now, with his death and with all the prayers that have gone out for Michael Jackson, it may even be gone.

Actually, the idea of a "ghost" is rather superstitious. A ghost does not have three-dimensional substance or free will! A ghost is more of an energy-imprint which is stuck in ramification... Bouncing around repetitively in a place where the energy is being held or blocked.

There may be parts of Michael's energy hanging around his kids, but I doubt it. I think there have been enough prayers that have gone out for him.

Soon he'll be buried.

People should not try to hold his spirit down by looking for his "ghost". Instead, it would be in a kinder gesture to pray for Michael and direct him to the Light.

I think those closest to him know that and want it, and pray for his peace. That's what really matters!