Filters of Negativity

I am so grateful to you for revealing to me these truths.

So many people suffer along the spiritual path. It's a process of seeking... And with that comes breakdown.

We need our egos in order to survive. We need to understand what it is we identify with... And also, how we over-do it by too much thinking.

The ego is the guardian along a murky borderline of illusions... A place where jealousy, control, neediness, isolation, tyranny, oppression and paranoia are joined together by a long string of fault-finding.

Everyone deals with this on some level. Why this process is so exaggerated among those who struggle with mental illness is something else.

The more things are busted down, the more insecure someone becomes. And the soul goes through a dark night of extended pain, and limbo... Because when paranoia happens, the soul has lost its identity. The integrity of person's spirit and body has been crushed.

Actions and emotions like jealousy, control, neediness, isolation, anger, tyranny, oppression and paranoia are simply filters of negativity in the beginning. Something to pay attention to, and honor. It's not possible to change what is not acknowledged.

Such emotions are always signals to you, the one who is living the reality, to back down, regroup and recollect your self.

How Do I React When I Believe These Thoughts?

How do I react when I believe these thoughts?

I'm suspicious, and I hate it. I'm watching your body language, mostly. Words are ruthless and futile. I'm looking to see what's goin' on in your eyes. I'm looking into you.

People say they hate it, when I stare into them, stare them down... Some have told me, men especially, are shy. They don't like to be stared-down.

I don't believe any of it. I mean, men and women can be equally shy. So what?

I believe the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. I wanna look into your soul. I wanna SEE you, connecting your words and actions. And if that's not happening? I wanna know WHY. I want you to see me, too!

I know you've asked me to trust you... But it's not been in my nature to trust anyone, do you understand? Because I've been oppressed. Tyrannized; made to feel paranoid. Why should you or anyone be the exception? Especially when you're telling me I shouldn't think of you as my lover? (And you are not asking, you're telling me.) You're saying I shouldn't get excited about making "love" or call it "love"? If I believe that, then my reaction to that belief is, I think it's bullshit.

I did ask you to teach me what it was you needed, didn't I.

I understand that now; but hey! People react to things - like need. It's the reason why they can't mind their own business. I know that now. I know we can get more free, by questioning some of the things we believe.

What's ironic is, now there's a reverse kind of sexism going on in the world. I've heard about this. About, women getting out of the military, and how put-off they feel by getting involved with "civilians" - men especially. These women from the military told me all about it; how "civilian" men think things like sex and love are synonymous, when, these women are just wanting to get laid. It's easier to go to a bar, I was told. At least, people who are getting drunk in a bar know love has nothing to do with it. So if you go to a bar, it's possible to pick someone up and go home and have crazy animal sex without any consequences like "love".


Help!

How do I react when I believe these thoughts?! I cry out to God for help!!

I cry. Because it feels like this sort of thinking attempts to kill something inside of me.

I cry out to you.

Can I Absolutely Know It's True?

You can be a Beast, with fangs. For the most part, I like it. Do I really believe this is true? Do I absolutely know it's true? No. Because I've looked into your heart and sense there's not enough love in the world to go around for you... And that's a good thing. (It's the common pain we share.)


I like the idea of us, coming to one another hopeless. It frees us up of the tripping... Even if it feels frightening. We've talked thousand times for a thousand lifetimes... We should know we're safe with with each other!! It's the fault-finding, the paranoia that are poisons to truth-seekers. We have what it takes to work it out!

Life is unconditional love. Evolution comes in giving ourselves permission to close-down the "gates", open our hearts. Sure, it's god-damned painful! At a core level, there's something twisted with those who need to use others as a technique of personal growth.

Revivals of Religion and Revivals in the Slave-Trade Go Hand in Hand Together - Frederick Douglass

http://www.hstc.org/frederickdouglass.htm

"I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slave-holding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of the land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity. I look upon it as the climax of all misnomers, the boldest of all frauds, and the grossest of all libels. Never was there a clearer case of 'stealing the livery of the court of heaven to serve the devil in.' I am filled with unutterable loathing when I contemplate the religious pomp and show, together with the horrible inconsistencies, which every where surround me. We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fills the pulpit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus. . . . The slave auctioneer’s bell and the church-going bell chime in with each other, and the bitter cries of the heart-broken slave are drowned in the religious shouts of his pious master. Revivals of religion and revivals in the slave-trade go hand in hand together. The slave prison and the church stand near each other. The clanking of fetters and the rattling of chains in the prison, and the pious psalm and solemn prayer in the church, may be heard at the same time. The dealers in the bodies and souls of men erect their stand in the presence of the pulpit, and they mutually help each other. The dealer gives his blood-stained gold to support the pulpit, and the pulpit, in return, covers his infernal business with the garb of Christianity. Here we have religion and robbery the allies of each other—devils dressed in angels’ robes, and hell presenting the semblance of paradise."
— Frederick Douglass
(Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass)

Revivals of Religion
and Revivals in the Slave-Trade
Go Hand in Hand
Together
- Frederick Douglass, 1818-1895

"The Soul That Is Within Me No Man Can Degrade." — Frederick Douglass

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
— Frederick Douglass

"Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work."
— Frederick Douglass

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"Slaves sing most when they are most unhappy. The songs of the slave represent the sorrows of his heart; and he is relieved by them, only as an aching heart is relieved by its tears."
— Frederick Douglass
(The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave)




"The white man's happiness cannot be purchased by the black man's misery."
— Frederick Douglass

Frederick Douglass, 1818-1895

http://www.hstc.org/frederickdouglass.htm

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence."
— Frederick Douglass

"We deem it a settled point that the destiny of the colored man is bound up with that of the white people of this country... We are here, and here we are likely to be. To imagine that we shall ever be eradicated is absurd and ridiculous. We can be remodified, changed, assimilated, but never extinguished. We repeat, therefore, that we are here; and that this is our country; and the question for the philosophers and statesmen of the land ought to be, What principles should dictate the policy of the action toward us? We shall neither die out, nor be driven out; but shall go with this people, either as a testimony against them, or as an evidence in their favor throughout their generations."
— Frederick Douglass

"The American people have this to learn: that where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob, and degrade them, neither person nor property is safe."
— Frederick Douglass