Loved

It's still very hard to read about the life of Michael Jackson, in an effort to understand what happened to him. In other areas of this blog I've written about Michael's lack of boundaries, how he internalized so much of his pain and confusion regarding people and fame. Today, his doctor of 4 months, Conrad Murray, was judged guilty of criminal negligence, resulting in Michael's death. Excellent verdict. It's just a shame to come to terms with the idea that Michael's life was never really his own. He was always inadvertently run and controlled by other people and their greed. Everyone wanted a piece of Michael Jackson.

The Experience

The Experience

Loving
is not based in projection or presumption,
nor in complete and total
consumption.
(That's not Love - that's something else.)

Another person
is always entitled
to live, to be free,
to express one's insightful proclivities;
to maintain one's way of center
or preference to stay
or exit
or re-enter.

Appreciation is the turning key,
holding all possibility;
releasing the mind
in its fight to the death;
Experience
is the everlasting breath.

father of lies

father of lies

people can converse with one another
without establishing a definite;
not every dialog
needs an outcome or closure,
or exorcism.
there is no moral to this story,
unless to simply see
there are lies.
it's impossible to disguise
maturity or wisdom; but lies
are designed to stunt and complex a soul,
and keep it in a state of childish
dramas and schisms.

in the beginning
it starts with stories of santa, what have you,
and the easter bunny;
yet everyone knows and loves
how it's all about Christ and the devil
(that father of lies and denial, who's
always doomed to be the center of some
great spiritual revival).
those "wonderful" holidays
striving for prizes of acceptance,
validation!
we grow out of the stories
without recognition
or perhaps appreciation
of what's real;
instead it's appeal gets muddied
in dust, blood and shadows.

It knows It's struggles to achieve perfection,
so It does what It wants to get
what It needs.

by the time a child is 12-14, she's already heard It.
all.


layer by layer It builds
until one is neurotic by the age of 24.
until one decides
(and yes, that's choice and decision)
to take command of one's life and
put an end to facades once used,
to save face.
but damn! those old "victim" habits and voices
die hard...!
(chronic lying and denial
are that very fall from grace.)

so true, what they say -
one is only as sick as one's secrets
in a time when lying
is the order of the day -
coached, and haunted
by that father,
the one of lies,
whose shadows, demonic,
devise to layer a soul
out of his or her core...
buffered on, to the devil's playground.
as such, one can't ignore
one's loss of innocence:

triggered
by fear and drama,
controlled
by mass pressure, authority and power-over,
many go on to create war...
to compete against and kill-off the very thing
that heals, and makes whole.

To Change, or Die

He who is not busy Changing is busy Dying.
- Bob Dylan

Surrender is a Form of Orgasm

SURRENDER
is a form of orgasm...
(Which is why love and sex can have the same fusion, the same spiritual value.)

The Deaths Before Death

No need here to make a "case" of my judgments, my own bigotry.
(It just attracts MORE.)
I'm facing the Real, head-on...
Is my ego-trip an evil trip? Am I hurting someone here?
Or is this just a small form of DEATH?
How shall I accommodate these small deaths each day -
before the real thing comes along?

Forgive

Forgive.
It's not your job to play judge and jury.
No need to do it;
turn it over to the Powers That Be.

Being conscientious of our own actions is really quite a responsibility in itself.