Saturday, May 29, 2010
"Humanity finds itself in the midst of the world. In the midst of all other creatures, humanity is the most significant, and yet the most dependent upon the others. Humanity is small in stature, but powerful in strength of soul. With head directed upward, with feet firm on the ground, humanity can set all things in motion; things above as well as things below."
- Hildegard of Bingen
UNFINISHED BUSINESS Quietly, she got in her limo and rode to the morgue. She was going to visit her dead son's body. She went every day for a month. Sitting beside him, she prayed, asking all right the questions she never bothered to question before... The main one being "why?" She sat in silence, weeping and waiting. Then, when it was time, the coroner, the funeral directors and the state took all his paperwork. They stamped it "EXPIRED".
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The time was useful for everyone involved. We all realized we were not wanting to be judged. In this instance, it's really better for people to start asking questions. If you love someone and are feeling hurt? It's by far better to inquire into the situation. I was not being given this chance. So, I felt it was better for me to sustain silence, especially as there were several people involved.
Everyone had a chance to review their priorities. A period of silence will do this. It has the power to make or break friendships, depending on how it's handled. The point is to deepen our connection to one another, or let go.
Relationships are not static things; our boundaries, needs and desires change constantly. Fine-tuning these issues has everything to do with reaching for qualities in our spirits, like more trust, more honesty, deeper loving. Most people are not finding this in their lives. They are only encountering potentials. They don't know how to go about sharing their light. It becomes an attitude - my way or the highway. And all of us on this planet right now, are undergoing changes to our light-bodies (spirits).
Love and trust sustain themselves as spiritual qualities for the duration that we work on ourselves, keep our hearts open and aim to be as honest and as real as possible. Then perhaps there's an opportunity to establish more than a bond with someone. Bonding happens emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. All these rays of light meet in the heart. They are not going to get into a heart that's been hardened.
Different people have different ways of going about creating bonds. Men and women are different; we have to keep our minds and hearts open. We have to be willing to understand that each person and each situation is going to be unique.
Personal boundaries are important; but it's also important, to be mindful that, if one is too rigid, it will put a relationship in limbo. This is always dangerous. Because this is where the judgment and bigotry happen (usually behind someone's back). Limbos keep people locked-up in the past, or in the dark.
Seeing and knowing this, I hope to deepen my love with you. I appreciate you as you are; but I also want you to be honest with me. If you can't be yourself, or if I am holding back on you in some way, where you can't see me as I am? Our love will remain a spiritual ideal. It will not be grounded here, in this reality... Which is what I want. And which is what I hope for you as well!
The love I hold for you will never change.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I am taking a vow of silence today, for the second time in my life. For me it is all about trust, establishing the heart connections I need in my life to keep my integrity intact. If someone cannot meet me here, then we will simply have to meet in spirit, however that works.
The first time I ever took a vow of silence many years ago (1993) on the job. There was a lot of tyranny going on in the workplace that was dividing and oppressing people. Since I was in a central position (the receptionist for the institution!) I informed everyone I’d be taking a vow of silence. I let them know I would be mirroring their oppression right back at them… Until we got some procedures in place to give people a voice.
It took about 3 days to let everyone know (with notes) I was taking this vow. Of course they all laughed. As I was working the front phones and the desk, I still had to do my job, but only spoke as it was necessary. People stopped by my desk, trying to provoke me into conversation. Each person presumed they were an exception. I would just look at them. After 14 days (which was a strain, and extremely difficult for everyone) people were irate. It was difficult, because it seemed somehow I was adding to their suffering.
Looking back, I now know I was just mirroring and reflecting their “stuff”. I was no longer participating in the game of searching for approval, or people-pleasing. I saw into their lack of courage to speak up for themselves; to take a stand in who they are. To stop being superficial, self-absorbed, narcissistic. To quit returning to their words like a puppy returns to its own vomit.
It was just a matter of days before they were all complaining. They eventually went to the management to make it stop. There was really nothing management could do. Eventually they called a meeting, and gave everyone a voice.
There are a lot of people out there who are in pain, and who aren’t dealing with it. They just go on to treat situations and other people as being “disposable”. I am sorry for the younger generations… Because I know you all feel this more acutely in your lives. Now it’s just exaggerated to extremes via our technology – the internet, texting, facebook, etc.
Let people clearly know about your vow. (This may take a few days.) You may also invite people to leave messages for you, but inform them you will not be responding until you are able to FEEL the investment on your commitment to keep silence until the energy is balanced. Divest yourself of the technology; boycott it, if necessary. Stop pouring your money and resources into dead-ends.
We all need something more in our lives… Some of the Buddhist values a vow of silence is going to teach you: more patience, more compassion; deeper connections in person, and at the level of the heart. And until I start feeling that, I’m kicking in with a new vow of silence, today. It may be the only way to gain someone’s trust, when they are too busy, you know, acting-out as a human-doing...? And not a human being.