The Truth is Relative
One approach to the grief of self-betrayal is to dramatize it, to make it into a dance, a song, or a play, glorifying the sadness and the pain. Another common way is to deny the grief, to push it down out of sight, to numb or deaden ourselves. It doesn't matter which we choose, the grief remains. The loss of being true to ourselves is still present.
We spend much time and energy accumulating powers, objects, and knowledge in order to avoid experiencing this core grief. Perhaps this avoidance is the real genesis of human suffering.
This dance is one of suffering, misery, and frantic absurdity. If you are at least somewhat exhausted from it, it is a good sign. In your willingness to keep dancing, to keep going and going, you lose the ability to stop and rest. To stop and rest means to turn and face what has been avoided by the dancing: the grief of turning away from the awakened innocent heart of your own being!