Sunday, July 5, 2009

On Michael Jackson and Child Abuse

On Michael Jackson and Child Abuse
by Orandon Marie
This article is written by me and published for Jamie, c) 2009

Many adults in my generation have come from families where there was child abuse. And we're aware how many of our parents from the previous generation were also abused in childhood. For some, this may have come in the form of spankings and beatings; while others may have had to deal with sexual abuse, and others still have had to endure both.

People never really talked about these problems in the '60's and '70's. Yet as kids we'd witness children coming into grade school with dirty hair and clothing, nerve-ridden, and generally shaken from neglect or abuse. There are no other words for it - when someone is hurting, something is going on at a very deep level. Children are basically innocent creatures. I believe they are real victims in this world when they are not cherished and loved.

In the early '80's, a film was made based on a book by Christina Crawford, called "Mommy Dearest". Today it is considered to be a cult movie. Back then, the topic was controversial and shocking. It is a story about the famous Hollywood actress, Joan Crawford, and her relationship with her children. Christina was Joan Crawford's adopted child. She wrote about her mother's mood-swings and the severe beatings she and her brother got as kids. She opened the topic up to the general public, shocking people into the realization that we, too, had our stories... Which continue to haunt us and shape up in every-day life.

You see, the problem with child abuse is that it stays with a person's soul.

Memories from childhood can take a person back within just a few minutes... To a place where there is no time. Or things felt in childhood actually become timeless; yet because we still remember, we still tend to hold onto the pain in an effort to try to understand it and clear it. Neurology is showing how we do this physically, gripping our bodies. Being hit and slapped, punched and kicked - thrown into walls, throttled and yelled at... Called names and belittled - these things are purely done for dominance and control. There is no other real purpose, except to intimidate a child as if he or she were an animal. Or worse.

If child abuse is a consistent factor in a young person's life, chances are the abuser does not see the child as a person, but as a thing.

During the '90's and into 2000 and beyond, psychologists and social workers have been educating the public on the need for healthy boundaries. Personal boundaries begin early in childhood, with doing things like teaching kids to say "please" and "thank you".

Somehow I notice there seems to be a generation who apologizes for their very existence with a constant "sorry". Sorry...? For bumping into you; sorry for need to walk past you; sorry for tripping and getting in your way; sorry that my existence affects you? has an impact on you? I wonder if "sorry" is good enough? "Excuse" or "pardon" is sufficient. What is "sorry"? How can I make things better? How can I make difference? These are all variations of the same social skills so many people lack... Is it because of a background of wounding and pain?

Many are easy to take offense, or are thoughtless and accident-prone. It's because they are not in their bodies; they are spaced-out.

The reason for this is: a person can disown the child-self, or their inner child. Perhaps, through abuse, the inner-child energy is just "floating" around the body
but not in the body. It's "sorry".

Are we timeless? While the rest of our being is functioning in time, there are aspects of ourselves that are working to try to understand things in other dimensions. Those aspects would be our souls, or the child-self, and our Higher Power, the spirit. Indeed? Our brains are the last organism of the body to compute what's going on.

The child-self is timeless, able to remember things all from the past, including past lifetimes. The child-self has an understanding of about a 3-5 year old. Talking to the child-self out loud with affirmations is one way to bring in some healing. (A great website: vital Affirmations are like prayers, helping us to bring the child-self back into our bodies, allowing us to learn how to choose, make choices, have fun. The child part of ourselves needs to feel a connection with Higher Power.

I think Michael Jackson was able to find that in music.
In this way he could keep a connection
which will sustain his spirit for many years to come.

Michael Jackson, in March of this year - 5'11", 112 lbs, in his pajamas.

I think no matter what, Michael Jackson was dying. For one thing, he had entirely lost his appetite. He was 5" 11', and weighed at 112 lbs; he was starving his heart. (Please check out my heart blog: The heart needs sustenance in order to live. Many people who have childhood abuse issues can be anorexic or bulimic. However if a person is also addicted to opiates, this will suppress the appetite. Michael Jackson reached a point in his existence where he chose to shut down his brain. That's what these drugs do.

Michael could not seem to differentiate between his feelings and the feelings of children. His boundaries were confused. He may have been able to feel the pain of others in a sort of psychic way... However, abused people cannot separate themselves from others - they tend to take on the pain of others and make it their own. This is why people need to get professional help.

If they are not being honest with themselves about the things going on in their lives, they will have out-of-body experiences, be spaced out, act severely self-conscious and inhibited and shy.

Professional psychological help can assist a person to learn how to speak in terms of self and other, not "we", and not put things in general terms in regard to
force-teaming with others. Patients can become overtly dependent on their doctors; they may have trouble separating themselves from their need to have the doctor. Telling the truth to the doctor is one way to establish a link of trust, something very few patients of abuse have in their lives.

Telling the truth is a key, both in personal and public lives. In this process the person can begin to establish integrity in his or her life. We deserve to be with people who are calm, gentle and loving. We deserve to give that to ourselves as well.

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